Kayla finally within sight

Well after a very rough week has past... the dr officially scheduled us to go in Wednesday to be induced.  Kayla is finally within sight.  She's been quite stubborn in my opinion.  Everyone is wanting to have a chat with her once she arrives to let her know how stubborn she really has been & how much she's been making everyone wait for her arrival.  I'm totally on board with that.

I know everyone, including us have been not-so-patiently awaiting her arrival for some time now.  So it's a relief to know that tomorrow we will finally get to kiss, hug & shower her with love.

Everyone has been so supportive & informational during my whole pregnancy which I'm very thankful for.  We're so blessed & lucky to be surrounded by amazing family & friends.  Everyone is so willing to help out & just be there if we need them.  Who could ever ask for more, I mean really?

Instead of posting clipart of baby stuff, from now on I will have actual pictures to post of baby Kayla, which is a great feeling to have.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that Abigail adjusts well to her new little baby sister.  I'm hoping that the transition goes well once we bring Kayla home to meet Abigail for the first time.  Since Abigail has been the only spoiled rotten 4-legged child in the house for so many years now... I worry about jealousy issues, but I'm keeping the faith that it won't take long for the adjustment to settle in & everything to be fine so I won't have to worry or stress about it.

We've been slowly making Abigail sleep in her new domain in the den on the love seat with her blankets & that's been going suprisingly well considering she's been used to sleeping in the bed with me all the years.  I will admit though, I'm kinda sad to not have her in the bed anymore, but I know it's for the best since Kayla will be sleeping in the bedroom with us now.

Just think... the next blog I will write, will be after we arrive back home with Kayla.  Everyone keep us in your thoughts & hope everything goes smoothly tomorrow.  Don't worry I will be blogging as soon as I feel up to it.  I know everyone couldn't live without my crazy writing.  ha ha

where's Kayla?

That's the question we're asking right now... where's Kayla?  Apparently she's being stubborn & hard-headed about wanting to make her appearance in to the world.

I personally think the stubborn & hard-headed-ness comes from her daddy... just my opinion.  (wink wink)
Ok... it might come from both sides, I'll admit.

So here we sit, not-so-patiently waiting the moment when we load up in the truck & make the drive to the hospital.  I'm really hoping & crossing my fingers that they don't have to end up inducing me & that baby Kayla makes the decision on her own between now & Monday.  Monday I'm scheduled for another dr visit & he told me last time that if I haven't had her by this appointment that we would schedule the day to induce.  So no matter what... within a week we will have Miss Kayla here one way or another.

Well I guess that's all for now.  Everyone just keep your fingers crossed & say a few prayers as well.

no progress

Well unfortunately I don't have any new baby Kayla pictures to post today.  She still hasn't decided to arrive yet.  After all the discomfort I went through especially yesterday... I was sure I would've been making a hospital trip before now.

I had another sleepless, restless night last night & I'm starting to think that's just how it's going to be until she gets here.  I just can't get comfortable or when I finally do, then I have to get up to go to the bathroom.  This happens about every hour of the night time.

Funny thing is that my body has kinda adjusted to the frequent bathroom trips all during the night.  It's almost as if I'm sleep-peeing, as I like to call it.  Some people sleep-walk... well I sleep-pee I guess.  I know, sounds crazy, but I swear it's true.

I guess I spoke to soon yesterday about Fred making a trip out west.  I was under the impression the trip out west was going to be a quick one today & he would hurry to return back home.  Unfortunately this is not exactly the case.  He left at 9am & yet it's 7pm in the evening & I haven't heard a peep from him today.  Not so much as one phone call to check in to find out how I'm doing or feeling, nothing.  Amazing isn't it?  I guess I'm confused wondering how he could spend the entire day, whether he's been busy or not... & not think about calling once.  If the situation was reversed, I would be beside myself just leaving town & being so far away in fear that I would miss the birth of my first child, considering the trip is a little over 2 hours.  I guess everyone thinks & feels differently though & I can't change that.

It's just really frustrating & stressful right now & I know I don't need to deal with this, especially now.
I feel like chopped liver.  Not that my self-esteem is at real high at this point anyway's & I guess what I need is him to be caring & loving right now.

Apparently that's asking way to much.  Ugh.  Someone just shoot me please.

another long day

After falling asleep in my chair watching Oprah late last night, I was sure that I was ready to snuggle up in my warm bed & get a good nights rest... but that didn't exactly happen.  Instead I had a restless night of not sleeping for any good length of time & the sun shined through the window before I was ready for it to this morning.

Walking was a difficult task, so I made the decision that motivating myself enough to get around & actually drag myself to work probably wasn't the best choice for the day.  Since I've never been through labor or any of this child birth process before, I'm not exactly sure what to do or think or when to actually make the the trip to the hospital.  There are moments when I think... just shoot me & get it over with.  I hate not being able to walk or move around like normal.

I'm not saying it's not worth it, because I know after baby Kayla arrives... I will probably forget all the pain & uncomfort that I had to deal with in the days leading up to her arrival, but for now... I'm just ready for her to get here so I can start to get back on my feet again.  I'm also anxious to see what our Kayla looks like.

It's hard to know what is going thru Fred's mind right now.  I know he has a job to do out west & to be honest the thought of him being 2 hours away scares the hell out of me right now.  Yesterday I was physically uncomfortable most of the day/evening but today... it's been a worse.  I just have this feeling I'm pretty close but then the thought crosses my mind what if Kayla decides to be stubborn & make me suffer for several more days?  Yikes.  Hopefully that's not the case.  I've had more contractions today then I had yesterday & even two that were about 30 minutes apart even, but then nothing after that.  How crazy, geez.

Luckily Fred decided not to go out west today & stay close just in case, which helped me stay more calm for sure.  Not that he has to be right next to me every second but just knowing that he's within minutes if I do call to say, "Ok It's Time"!  That makes me much more at ease knowing he's close by.

Let's all say it together now... "Kayla hurry up & get here, your making mommy miserable"
Not to mention I'm 100% positive that my entire body is completely falling apart the past two days!  Ugh.

still hanging in there

Whew it's been a little while since I've blogged.  Things have been busy & crazy to say the least.  I didn't get lost I promise... I've been around just haven't had time to sit & write for awhile.

Baby Kayla is scheduled to arrive any day now.  We're just patiently awaiting her to decide to make her appearance into this world.  The Dr told me yesterday that if I haven't delivered her by Monday when I'm scheduled for my next appointment... then we will be scheduling to induce next week for sure.  So one way or another she will be here in less than two weeks.

Apparently she's a little stubborn, who knows.  I'm going to assume she gets that from her daddy, not me.  (evil laugh)

Physically today has probably been the most difficult so far.  I went to bed uncomfortable & woke up the exact same way & throughout the day it's continued to get worse & hasn't let up what-so-ever.  I'm starting to think everyone keeps jinxing me by saying "oh she's coming tonight for sure".  People have been saying that for over a week now & so far... no baby Kayla.

I know each day gets a little more challenging & today... yikes... walking was just plain uncomfortable.  All I wanted to do was crawl in to bed & not walk.  I thought about staying home from work but well the painful truth is that the bills don't suddenly go on hold to accommodate these types of situations.  Wish they did though.  It would be nice to have the option of taking a break or being able to relax & maybe not force myself to work through it.  Today for sure I could've used that break.

If all goes as I plan... I will only get to spend approximately two weeks completely off work with baby Kayla then I will have to start back to work again in order to not fall to far behind on bills.  Again I wish I had the option of spending a little more time but that's only a dream right now.  The good thing is that I will be able to work from home for awhile so that will be nice.

Instead of blogging, I guess I should be packing my to-go bag for the hospital, since I probably should've already had that done at this point.  These days it seems like I always put everything off until the last minute.  One day that will catch up with me & bite me in the butt I'm sure.

Don't worry I will be blogging more at a later time for sure.

kick boxer?

Here we are approaching 32 weeks now.  Wow.

So what's going on with baby Kayla these days?
According to "WhatToExpect.com"...
Currently should be tipping the scales at almost four pounds and could be topping out at just about 19 inches.

In my opinion, I think Kayla weighs at least 50 lbs now & she's currently practicing her kick boxing techniques.

As the weeks pass by, Kayla gets a little stronger.  It's a very different feeling to be lying in bed looking at my belly & watching her movements at this point.  Sometimes painful but still a really cool feeling to know that there's actually a human being in there that we've created.

When I think about the fact that last Christmas I had no plans, wasn't expecting or trying for children yet... and now this Christmas we'll have baby Kayla in our Christmas pictures & in our arms, that's just unbelievable.  It's wild how quickly life can change & how it seems to be that some things just happen for a reason without us understanding or knowing exactly why.

Yesterday I had a really bad day & unfortunately it continued thru the evening & into early morning as well.  For the most part I've been in good spirits thru the pregnancy, but of course I've had days of stress, depression & a roll-a-coaster of emotions.  Those few days that I experience those things, I tend to question myself in every way possible.

I've always wanted to be a mom & have children... but will I be a good mom?  Am I bad person for wanting to work a full time job & raise a child as well?  What if baby Kayla gets here & I have a hard time leaving her to go back to work?

A million questions that I'm sure go thru every pregnant woman's mind.  I guess when your going thru it you feel all alone for some reason.  Even though you know that close friends & family have been in your exact shoes before.

With the horrible day I had yesterday, followed a really rough day physically for me today.  This morning I questioned whether I could pull myself together enough to drive myself to work & make it thru the day without wanting to crawl in a hole.  Which I will admit was tempting several times.  Not sure why, but I was so dizzy this morning I just wanted to crawl back into bed & hope that it would go away.  It was almost 10am before I didn't feel as dizzy anymore, but when I got on the elevator to head downstairs for lunch break, the dizziness returned for a brief period.  Once I met my hubby for lunch & returned back to work I started to feel some better as the day progressed.

I realized today that my body is just not capable of being stressed out or upset like I was yesterday thru last night.  I had to drag myself thru the day with swollen eyes, a massive headache & hoping the knots in my stomach would eventually vanish completely.  It was just flat out rough in every sense & I know it's not healthy for me or baby Kayla.

I guess it really comes down to others around me realizing that right now is the time to make an extra effort to be kind & caring & to take care of me just like they know I would take care of them in return.  The last thing I ever want to do is cause anyone else around me severe stress or anxiety, so I hope that those closest to me feel the same way about me as well.  Physically I know that I can't experience another day like yesterday or last night.  It's just to much.  So I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I don't have to go thru that again.

On a much brighter note...
I'm looking forward to spending some much needed quality time with my hubby this evening.  Since his return from South Dakota we haven't gotten to do that & the only way to have time... is to make time, right?  I think sometimes we all let everyday life slip away to fast without taking a moment to stop & enjoy each other.

So that's my plan for this evening & I hope it works out.

Glucose Drink

This has to be the worst part of the pregnancy tests you have to go through by far.

Several weeks ago I went through the first test & I found out last Monday that I failed my glucose test so I had to eat a special diet for 3 days & return Friday for additional glucose testing.  The first time around I had to drink a small bottle of this wonderful orange stuff & I was able to choke it down & get through the test fairly decent.  This time around I wasn't properly informed of what I would have to go through before I arrived.

The nurse told me to return first thing Friday morning for another blood test, but failed to mention that I was suppose to go directly to the lab which was across the street.  When I arrived at the lab, the sign on the door stated their hours were from 7:30am-1:00pm... I could have already been here, ugh oh well I guess.

I hadn't eaten anything since 6pm the day before so by the time 9am rolled around baby Kayla was ready for me to eat some breakfast or something.  As I sat down in the chair preparing to be stuck I made the comment that I was starving & the lab tech looked at me & said "well this is going to be a long day then".  So of course I'm thinking... what's that suppose to mean, so I asked what she was talking about & she informed me that this test was a 3 hour test & I wouldn't be able to leave the waiting room for that period of time.  I'm sure the look on my face was priceless but I was in total shock!  What... 3 hours... stuck here?  Then she followed up with the fact they would need to take my blood 4 times in that time frame.  Yikes.  Seriously?  Just shoot me.  I asked for a moment before I committed myself to this shocking disaster & called my new boss to ask if he wanted me to re-schedule or go ahead with the testing.  He said I should go ahead with it since I was already there & was very understanding, so as I hung up the phone I was thinking... great... I hate being stuck but I guess I don't have much of a choice.

I returned to my seat & informed the lab tech I was ready to get this over with.  She apologized & said that the nurse at the doctor's office should have told me before hand so I would be prepared.  She stuck my right arm first & was successful at draining a tube of blood.  Then my nightmare began!  She told me to sit tight & she would get me something to drink... I was excited for a moment thinking oh yeah a glass of cold ice water, or maybe some juice.  NOPE... I wanted to hit the floor when she sat that large awful bottle of orange stuff in front of me.  A much larger bottle than the one I had to drink before for the other test.  Yikes!  As I was trying to choke it down I didn't remember it being so thick or quick as yuck before either.  When I finished, they started my time since I had to get my blood taken exactly one hour after that for 3 more hours.  I was probably in the waiting room for a few minutes before I realized the orange yuck wasn't going to settle with me.  Baby Kayla kicked it back out immediately.  Then after exiting the bathroom thinking I was for sure dying... the lab tech told me I had to drink ANOTHER bottle & then they would re-start my time again.  You've gotta be kidding me!  Ugh.  I think my stomach felt sick again just hearing her say that I had a force myself to swallow another horrible bottle of that stuff.

I did it though & returned to the waiting room once again... this time praying baby Kayla would just deal with it & not make me run to the bathroom again.  Luckily there was another girl in the waiting room going through the same test as I was so we became 3 hour friends.  We chatted & talked the entire time about a bunch of nothing & it made the time pass by much easier for sure.

I have to say it was still the longest 3 hours ever though!  The other girl was about 30 minutes ahead of me so she was able to leave before I did.

Baby Kayla was not exactly pleased with this experience & she let me know about it too.  She kicked the entire time as I sat in the waiting room chatting with my new 3 hour friend whose name I shockingly never got.

Let's just say I'm very glad this experience is over with & now I await the results, hoping that the tests went ok & I don't have to go through anything else.  Worst case scenario they will say I have gestational diabetes & then I will have to stick my finger several times a day to check my blood sugar & what ever else I will have to do along with that.  So everyone better keep your fingers crossed for me.  I really don't need anything else to go sideways at this point, geez.

Now we barely have two more months to go before Kayla's approximate arrival time is here.  Wow.  Still so much to do between now & then.  I'll be surprised if I haven't pulled all my hair out from the stress by that point.

Oompa Loompa

I used to have this picture in my head of how I would look when I became pregnant someday & well I have to say my body is turning in to not exactly what I had pictured.  Maybe every woman goes thru this phase but wow, every pregnant woman I see I can't help but think how cute they are & how extremely huge I am.  When I look in the mirror it's like looking at a Oompa Loompa or a short giant elephant.  I wasn't in exactly great shape before I found out I was pregnant so this extra added weight is taking a serious toll on my body.  I'm currently at 30 weeks... yeah... 30 weeks... whew that doesn't even seem right does it?  Kayla is going to be here before we know it.

Everyone keeps telling me to not stress, relax & rest a lot... well that's easier said than done.  I have to depend on everyone around me to do things that I would typically do myself & get done & that's annoying to me.  I hate having to ask for so much help.  Ugh.

I never even knew what heart burn was until now.  Seems like every day I have it & according to my nurse it will only get worse the closer time closes in on baby Kayla's arrival.  That's just what I wanted to hear, great.

I think the stress factor will end once we get moved into our new home & get settled in.  Right now everything's just crazy.  Between wrapping up rodeo season with the banquet less than a week away, trying to get everything at the house done so we can move, starting a new job (again), quitting the other job (again), cattle auction a little over a month away & well... I will have to pack & move at some point I'm hoping in the very near future... equals stress... stress... & more stress.  What does relax mean?  Hell if I know at this point.

The good thing is that I landed another good job & so far I love it.  Today was my first day at just the new job & not having to travel half a day at one job & a half day at the new job.  I'm so tired though, worn smooth out.  By 2pm every day it's almost like my body wants to shut down & sleep or take a power nap.

Well I'm still keeping my fingers crossed that we'll have everything done at the house & be moving in another week.  Everyone else needs to say a prayer & cross your fingers too, because at the rate we're going I'm starting to think we're never going to get moved in.

It's 11pm & I guess I should be hitting the bed for some much needed beauty rest.  God knows I need it.

day of firsts

Today I met with the nurse program to fill out paperwork, etc. & was assigned to a nurse that will start making home visits or meeting with me on a weekly or bi-weekly basis until baby Kayla is 2 years old & then we graduate from the program.  It seems like a good program.  I think it's a good program for first time mom's, but I'm thinking that it's really meant for mom's who haven't been around children or raised kids before, but I could be wrong.  I guess we'll find out the future we get into the program.  So far so good though.

Today was also my first day back at work part time.  I have to say I loved it.  I loved getting up this morning, getting ready & going to work.  Even if it was only for half a day, maybe that will change back to full time soon when they realize they need me there more than just half a day.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed.  Of course I'm back to making not as much money & trying to figure out finances, but something is better than nothing, so I'm definitely not complaining.  Plus I missed seeing everyone there, so it was just nice to be back.

I'm also been working on picking up the house & getting stuff cleaned... wow what a task all on it's own to put it lightly.  I've been slacking with cleaning house in the worst way possible the past few months & that's totally not like me.  I've just been over whelmed & now it's caught up to me big time.  Needless to say I have a ways to go before the house is back up to my standards again.  I've made a lot of progress tonight, but hopefully by tomorrow evening I'll have the majority of the house back in order again... fingers are crossed.

Tomorrow my hubby comes home & I'm excited about that.  I don't want to give him a big head... but I do miss him.  I just wish he would make more of an effort to call me when he's out of town & not wait until I call him.  It makes a girl feel good when her man picks up the phone first.

Guess I better start wrapping things up for the night, so I can hit the bed & get some rest for work tomorrow!  Woohoo!

ouch

Being prego is an eye opener for how out of shape I really am.  I think I pulled some muscles yesterday & even though it hurt last night... when I woke up this morning it was extremely hard to roll out of bed without crying.  It feels like I ripped a muscle running down each side of my side/stomach or something.

Maybe it's how I lifted & carried stuff yesterday, hell I don't know.  Obviously I did something wrong.  I just know it's painful & all I wanted to do is lay on the couch & not move all damn day today.  Not to mention I learned that baby Kayla doesn't like frito chilli pie from the concession stand at the rodeo.  I didn't sleep very good because of it.  I've had a bowl of cereal today & lots of water, that's the extent of it.  I was hoping my hubby would be home in time to load the truck for me so I wouldn't have to strain those muscles that are already killing me today, but it doesn't appear that will happen.  He was supposed to be here yesterday in time to help me, but waited until the last minute to let me know he wouldn't be able to make it... and not enough time for me to call anyone to ask for help.  Unfortunately that's what happened again today.  5pm he finally called & said he was headed this way (2 hr drive) & I need to be at the arena at 6pm.  Which leaves me loading everything again.  Fantastic.

Apparently this week is just simply not going in my favor, period.

The high for today is 108... yeah seriously.  Feels more like 1,008 though.  As soon as you walk outside sweat starts dripping off you immediately.  These summer temps are ridiculous if you ask me.  This is the last weekend of rodeo before finals in two more weeks.  So we're wrapping up the season for the year.  This whole year has flown by so fast it's crazy.

Well I guess I better get ready & start hauling all the rodeo stuff to the truck in the million degree temp.  Oh fun fun.

Hopefully when my hubby does get to town, he's in an exceptionally sweet, loving mood & maybe I'll get lucky & he'll even bring me something good to eat, so I won't have to eat that wonderful rodeo food.

Fingers are crossed.

week 21

Well I'm officially at the 21 week mark with baby Kayla & here's her latest ultra sound pic.  When we went to the ultra sound on the 6th that's when we found out we were having a baby girl.

I've been set on the name Kayla Elizabeth for as long as I can remember.  My bff Kat & I always said we would name our children after each other.  Sure enough... the first baby she had was a girl & shares my middle name!  Of course I think that's totally awesome.  Elizabeth is Kat's middle name & it just so happens we're having a baby girl first.  I always wished that our kids would grow up together & become bff's too, just like Kat & I, but life didn't work out that way & that's ok.

There was a point in my life that I wasn't sure I would ever have children.  After a certain age you start to wonder if you'll ever find that person you want to spend the rest of your life with & have a family with.  Even though it's taken almost 33 years... I have to say I've never been happier!  In less than one week I will be walking down the aisle towards the love of my life to say our vows in front of our immediate family with our bff's standing beside us.  I'm so excited & not even the least bit nervous.  I think I'm more nervous about what everyone will think of me in my dress then anything else.  I just hope that Fred loves me in the dress & it brings tears of happiness when he sees me in it.  That's the reaction I'm hoping & praying for.

As far as baby Kayla... she's definitely in there, dancing around to hopefully country music, but somedays it feels like she's seriously breaking it down in there.  I'm sure Fred can't wait until the day he'll be able to feel her too.  For now, it's just me who feels her doing flips or dancing.  Sometimes it tickles, but I've been warned that eventually it will be kinda painful.  I'm hoping Kayla decides to go easy on me.

I feel pretty good for the most part.  I have these stupid swelling issues that I can't seem to get rid of & I haven't been able to feel 4 fingers on my right hand for a little over 2 weeks now, which is apparently due to swelling also.

If I had to pick two of my biggest issues it's my extreme back pain & sleeping!  It's so hard to make it through the entire day without wanting to lay down somewhere & take a nap.  I have a bad back anyways & being prego seems to be pushing me to my limits somedays on the pain scale.  I manage to hide it for the most part but using my HoMedics Lumbar Massaging Cushion has helped a lot thankfully & I try to use it in the evening time when we're relaxing, watching tv.

As far as sleeping goes... I just flat out need to get to bed earlier.  For example today I'm dragging bigtime because we didn't get home & get to bed until 11:30pm & now I'm dearly paying for it.

Oh how I long to crawl into bed & pass out.  Hopefully bedtime will come early tonight.

heat warning

The weather forecast for this week...

I copied this off our local weather channel forecast:

An Excessive Heat Warning has been posted throughout West and Central OK through at least tomorrow evening.  The combination of high temps + high humidity = feels like temps between 105 - 115 each day for the rest of this week and probably through this upcoming weekend. A weak cool front will try to push south into northern and central Oklahoma on Thursday with a slight chance for t'storms but not much if any cooling this far south.

The heat goes on next week. Eventually the atmosphere will dry out so the heat index will drop...but then the actual air temps will rise. It's a trade off. So in a nut shell, it just stays hot with little chance for rain and or relief.  Please remember your summer heat safety tips because this heat can be dangerous if not taken seriously. Don't leave kids or pets in parked cars for any period of time!

Holy popsicles... seriously!  I think Mother Nature is trying to make everyone in Oklahoma melt or something, geez.  This is really ridiculous if you ask me.

I think now would be the perfect time to own a snowcone machine.  What do you think?  Oh come on... who remembers the Snoppy Snow Cone Maker?  Talk about totally awesome back then.  Oh how I begged & begged for one of these back n the day, but nope... never got one.  Dad would always say "you don't need that".  Well of course I didn't need it... I mean what child really needed anything, right?  I wanted it real bad though!  I think I'm scarred for life... because still to this day, I want one... just maybe a bigger more adult version though.  Those little mini snowcones wouldn't work for me now days.

Even though little miss Kayla isn't here yet... I think she would want a Snoppy Snow Cone Maker... maybe I better start my search for one.  I wouldn't want her to still be scarred from not having one 33 years later.  I'm going to add that to my list of things my child shouldn't live without.

I'm totally normal, I promise.

bugs be gone

So this morning started off like any other typical work day, until the bug people came to spray our building for bugs.

The smell was atrocious!  Within a few short minutes it started to affect me in horrible ways.  Light headed, dizzy-ness, felt sick to my stomach then a headache.  Apparently at some point I passed out/blacked out for a brief minute.

What good is it to be at work when you can't function?

I left for about 2 hours in hopes the air would be clear when I returned.  A fan was placed in my office & doors were opened to help clear the smell out of the building while I was gone.

After a brunch date with my sweetheart at Cattlemen's & returning back to work with the air smelling fresh again... well then I needed a damn nap.  Go figure.

I feel completely worthless somedays because all I want to do is sleep.  What happened to my energy?  Where did it go?  Is baby Kayla stealing it from me or what?  Well if she is, I want it back!  It's just hard to function all day long when your eyes keep trying to close on you.  I swear if I could somehow sneak an hour nap in during work hours I would do it & it would make me function a lot better in the afternoons.

Go figure we have errands to run tonight too.  Wal-Mart here we come!  Again!  I swear we should have some automatic Wal-Mart discount card for shopping there so much.  It's almost like we live there.  It's really bad when you have every single aisle memorized & can assist other shoppers in their search for items in the store.  That might be the first sign of going to Wal-Mart to often.  Who knows.

no more dress shopping

Come on & say it with me... Hallelujah!  I don't have to go dress shopping anymore.  After trying on about 50 billion dresses, last Wednesday night I officially purchased the dress I will be wearing to walk down the aisle.  Thanks to my bff Kat driving all the way from Stillwater to assist me in this process.  Otherwise I probably would've backed out & not gone to try on dresses that night.

I was completely worn out when we were done & towards the end I was starting to get grumpy/bitchy & to top it off I was hungry too.  Not a good combo.

I had to order the dress, it should hopefully (everyone please cross your fingers) be in next week.  It needs a few alterations done but other than that... it's great.  Yes, I still feel like a hippo in it... BUT... a smaller hippo then I felt like in some of the other dresses I tried on before.  Hopefully Fred likes it once he sees it.  The dress is simple, but cute.  Not a lot of fabric to trip over or mess with, which is the best part for me.  We all know I'm not exactly what you would call the most graceful person.

Now I will have to go shoe shopping... urgh.  I dread that almost as much as dress shopping, but hopefully it won't be that bad.

One major accomplishment this week was I finally was able to get all my invitations sent out for our wedding reception... that's a huge relief.  Although we still have to finish registering, so I'm hoping we can get that finished up this afternoon sometime & that will be one more thing to cross off the list!

I still have a long list of things to still take care of between now & wedding day, but hopefully everything will all come together fairly well.

the results are in

Well the results are in... we went yesterday morning for the ultra sound & it's officially a girl !!

The ultra sound lady said baby Kayla is looking good so far, which is what matters most.  I was shocked at how much Kayla has grown just since the last ultra sound I had several weeks ago.  We have ultra sound pics which I will post later this week, because I haven't had a chance to scan them on to the computer just yet. Way too many things going on all at the same time.

I've been working on invitations to our wedding reception & trying to wrap my brain around everything I have to get done in just a short amount of time.

Monday I was off work.  My bff Kat & I decided to do some wedding dress shopping & well that didn't exactly go in my favor.  Talk about depressing.  Really depressing.  Every dress I tried on, I felt like an over sized water bufalo.  I was ready to throw in the towel & not walk down the aisle at all by the time I got back home.  All the dresses were more expensive then what I have in my budget to spend right now & the fact that I'm 19 weeks prego & feel like I've gained one million pounds already didn't help my confidence either.  Looking in the mirror after putting on a dress just made me wanna cry at the thought of actually walking out in in front of anyone, especially down the aisle towards my future husband & wondering what he his first reaction would be.  I would like there to be tears of happiness not tears of laughter in his eyes.

My massive chest size isn't helping me at all either.  AND they continue to grow, I'm not even sure what size comes next.  It doesn't help that my chest size has never fit my body to begin with but now that things are growing & swelling... my boobs have decided to jump a whole size & continue on the up hill walk to the next size it appears.  Just great I tell ya.  If anyone is considering implants, don't do it... I will be more than willing to donate after baby Kayla gets here.

On a positive note...

Last weekend was 4th of July weekend, which equals 3 day weekend, which also equals AWESOME!

I love days off work that we still get paid for... I mean who doesn't?

We had two birthday parties to attend.  Burgandi Dawn, my bff Kat's daughter who she named after me because she just loves me oh so much!  Burgandi turned 12 which I'm still thinking can't be right & we need to double check her birth certificate on that one... that makes me feel old.  Emily (Fred's niece) turned 2 & we had pizza Sunday night to celebrate hers.  She's an absolute doll too!

4th of July night... we didn't go watch fireworks or anything crazy like that.  We got home from a long day out & about everywhere, we worked on invitations, watched some tv & that was the extent of our fun for the evening.  Mother Nature fell off her rocking chair & made it pour rain most of the day anyways, so it was kinda yuck to be hanging outside.  At least she did remember to stop the rain long enough so Edmond could have their fireworks show.  I heard it was good.

I went to bed at 11:00pm last night but I'm thinking I should have been in bed around 9:00pm instead.  I'm absolutely worn smooth out today.  I actually dozed off a few times reading emails & I'm not even half way thru the work day yet.  All I can think about is going home after work & taking a nap.  Except that won't happen, otherwise I won't get the invitations finished up & ready to mail out tomorrow & along with having a rodeo meeting tomorrow night (which I'm debating whether I will attend or not) I also have a Jr Rodeo this weekend.  Neither of which I'm prepared for yet.

There is rain in the forecast for Thursday/Friday though... so I'm keeping my fingers crossed the rodeo gets rained out & I won't have to stress out about getting everything ready for that.  Between now, our wedding & reception... we have two rodeo weekends.  How crazy is that.  Just shoot me now please.

I'm day dreaming of a hot meal waiting & a fluffed pillow for me to pass out on when I get home tonight.

Oh I dream big, I know.  But it never hurts to dream right.

LibertyFest approaching

Well it's almost here.  LibertyFest 2010!

Around Edmond, OK... we make 4th of July a REALLY BIG DEAL!

In fact... LibertyFest in Edmond, Oklahoma was selected as one of the top 10 places to be in America on July 4th by CNN & USA Today.  It is a week long celebration of the birthday of this great nation & the heritage of our fine state.

Here's a quick breakdown of events to take place:
Car Show, KiteFest, Rodeo, Road Rally, A Taste of Edmond, Concert in the Park, Chalk-It-Up, Parade, ParkFest at UCO, Fireworks & Scholarship Pageant.  Details for each event are on their website:  http://www.libertyfest.org/

My two favorite parts... the Rodeo of course AND free watermelon at ParkFest!
Seriously who doesn't just love watermelon, ha ha!

The Rodeo always take awhile to prepare for every year, but it's always well worth it to see the turn out we have.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the temperature cooperates with us & it doesn't get to scalding hot out there.  That makes it completely miserable for everyone & especially me.  Since "baby it" is forcing me to carry around a few extra pounds, I'm always burning up & wish I never had to leave the comfort of a/c.

Fortunately I think we have enough people volunteering to help this year, that I can hopefully sit back & relax in my new totally awesome leopard print folding chair that my sweetheart got for me the other day.  I will locate something to prop my tootsies up on once I get there.  I might actually get to watch the rodeo & that's exciting.  I've never actually watched even 90% of our big rodeo... ever!

Hopefully everything runs smoothly, nobody has any issues or we don't run out of anything, etc. & we pull it off without a snag anywhere!

naptime

Well it's officially scheduled now.  The ultra sound appointment in which we will find out what we're having.  July 6th is the date... 2 weeks from now.  Fred & I are both anxious to know.

The Intelligender Gender Prediction Test said it's a boy.  I took one of those chinese birth chart thingys online & it said it was a girl.  Then I was reading the reviews online about the Intelligender Gender Prediction Test & there were only a few that predicted it correctly.  Basically none of the tests are very accurate & we'll have to wait until the ultra sound to know for sure.  That's ok though... only 2 more weeks to wait.

Hopefully at that point we'll have the house situation figured out too.  If not, I might have to be committed to one of those white padded rooms.  I swear the walls of our itty bitty apartment are closing in on us & getting smaller & smaller by the day.  Seriously, no joke.

I'm not really crazy I promise.  I'm totally normal.

So around the same time every single day (2pm-ish)... my eye lids get extremely heavy & I have to put up a fight to keep them from closing.  It's a hard battle to win too.  All I can think about during that time is "what if" I had carpet in my office?  I could easily crawl under the desk & take a quick power nap then I would be revived & feel brand new again for the remainder of the afternoon!  Unfortunately I have tile in my office... hard tile, no carpet, not even a rug.

There is enough room in my office for a couch or love seat though.  How would I manage to swing that by the boss?  I'm not sure they would go for me bringing in a piece of furniture to full fill my napping needs.  That would be awesome though.

It never hurts to dream.

acquiring satellite signal

~ Attention ~
Acquiring Satellite Signal

Oh... how I hate it when that happens.  Especially when you want to figure out what's going on w/the weather!

When it rains it pours... LITERALLY!

I'm not even sure what time it really started storming yesterday morning, but I know it was really early.

Then I headed off for work & wow talk about a mistake.  Should've just stayed home & not even bothered to attempt it, but ya really never know how bad the roads or traffic is until you actually get out there & see for yourself.  Know what I mean?  Well after a grooling 2 hours on the highway & not even half way to work yet... I decided it simply wasn't worth the trip.  I made my way off the highway, turned around & headed back to home!

Don't worry... I will write more about "The Great Flood" from yesterday... in another post.

So here's the next exciting thing...

Fred & I bought one of those Intelligender Gender Prediction Test's on Sunday.  Just because we were curious to know.  After I got it home & read the instructions, we had to wait til morning before I could take it.  So yesterday morning, I took the test & the results showed a BOY!  Now... we just have to wait & see if the results are right or not when I go for the ultra sound in another 3-4 weeks.  My next actual dr appointment is next Monday, but I don't think they can actually see anything until you are 19-20 weeks along.  I could be wrong though.  I guess I'll ask the dr on Monday when I see him.  Hopefully Fred will be able to go with me Monday just in case they can already do the ultra sound & find out what it is then.  If he can't make it then I won't go ahead with the ultra sound.  I don't want to find out without him there with me.  I don't think that would be very fair at all.

So just with the results from that test & it saying it's a boy... we're both excited.  Fred's really excited though.  He really wants a boy.  Really we're excited either way, if it's a boy or a girl.  It doesn't really matter to us.  It's still OUR baby no matter what, which is just really awesome to think about.  A baby that will be a combination of both of us... wow that's a really great feeling.

I honestly couldn't have ever imagined exactly what it would feel like to be pregnant, but wow... what a shock.  I'm sure there's a lot more yet to come since I'm only 15 weeks, but right now I get so exhausted so easily.  I feel like such a weenie sometimes.  The heat has been a killer though.  Being out in the extreme heat of the summer always wears ya down fast, but being prego along with the heat... wow... total wipe out.

I think if I could somehow take a nap every afternoon for like an hour, I would feel fine.  Mornings aren't really that bad for me as long as I go to bed early the night before.  The afternoons are tough though.  I almost can't function because my eyes just want to close on me.  It sucks.  Someone needs to come up with some sort of prego energy boosting pill or something.

where's the light?

Do you ever think everything's going your way... and then surprise... you hit the bottom again?

Like maybe, just maybe... you can see the sun light finally shining down on you.

Then all of a sudden the sky turns black with no warning.

You start to wonder if anything will start looking in your favor.  Ever.

I know God doesn't give us more than we can handle, but I'm starting to wonder if he has me mixed up with someone else.

I've tried to keep the faith.  I've cried.  I've crossed fingers & toes.  I've prayed.  I've lost sleep.  And now... I'm absolutely & completely worn smooth out.  The past few days have been rough, extremely rough on my mind & body.  I'm stressed to the max & it's making my stomach turn upside down.

Pregnancy hormones are a lot harder to handle then I had imagined.
If there's a stress test out there, I'm 100% sure that I'm off the charts right now.

I know I know... stressing out is not good for me or the baby, yada yada yada.

I've also been informed that someone is getting tired of hearing how stressed out I am also.
Sounds crazy... but that only just stressed me out more hearing that.  This is what it sounded like to me, "I know your stressed out, I don't care & I'm tired of hearing about it, so shut up".

1 or 2 absolutely amazing things can happen to me & then immediately afterwards, 3 or 4 bad things will follow.  It never ceases to amaze me how this works or why it works that way.

Maybe I need a break.  A road trip.  Just to get away for awhile, even just for a day.

All I want is for everything to work out & fall in to place.  It usually takes hard work & determination to make things work out & fall in to place though... that's typically what I'm made of too, but right now I just don't have it in me & I need someone else to step up to the plate & take charge for once.  I need to be the one with my feet up, relaxing & not stressing out.  I want to be the one whose being taken care of & not the one taking care of everyone else.

After two days in a row I've learned the hard way... don't try to eat lunch when your stomach is in knots.  Lunch doesn't like to stay down.  I guess I will be hitting the v8 bottle when I get home from work, as I'm crawling in to bed to hide under the covers for the evening.

If anyone finds my sanity, please let me know where it ran off to.  I'd like to have it back now.

ulta sound #2

There really is something in there.

Right now we're calling it "baby it".
At least until we find out if it's a boy or a girl.

Yes we have names already picked out, but I'll save all that for another post another time.

"Baby It" looks a little squished in there huh?
"Baby It" looks kinda huge to me in these pics.

December 7th is the due date.

I keep looking at the pics thinking... holy crap... that's what's inside of me!

Over all I've felt pretty good for the most part.
Nothing to major at least.

I'm having a few issues w/swelling, but it's so flippin' hot outside right now too!  The nurse told me to only stand in the heat for so long then sit for 30 minutes to relax w/my feet elevated.  I hate being restricted like that, but it wasn't until I looked at my feet, ankles, legs & realized that they were severely swollen... it kinda scared me, so I thought maybe I should listen & follow directions a little better.

Some days I'm so exhausted I can't even see straight, it's crazy.  I've been doing good about going to bed a lot earlier than I typically would have before, so that I get enough rest to function through the next day.  Jr. Rodeo weekends are pretty hard on me, I don't want to get out of bed the next day.  Luckily we haven't had to many real late rodeo nights yet & I'm really crossing my fingers that we don't either.  I'm not sure my body can handle it right now.

My friend Pam has been helping me at the rodeos this year & she's been totally awesome help for me in the office!  No I didn't bribe or threaten her either, I promise.  She actually volunteered to come out & help me I swear.  I love having her help & her company!  I think she enjoys coming out & helping too.  Fred can't always be at every rodeo to help me & well... this year I really need the help.

Not everyone knows that I'm pregnant.  The family reunion last weekend didn't really give me the opportunity to tell family, because we were a little late getting there, hurried to eat then everything else started... then before we knew it, well it was late, I was exhausted & ready to head for home.  They'll all know soon enough no doubt.  ha ha