A Heavy Heart

My heart is crying tonight... my cousin Amy ended her life today.  I'm totally heart broken at the thought her life is now over.  I will never get to speak to her again or reminisce on all the years we ran around together back n the day and all the fun times we had together.  We were close once.  The pain our family feels right now is unspeakable.  It took a little while to sink and I'm still in some what disbelief.  This has to be some sort of nightmare that I'm in and surely I will wake up tomorrow and none of this would have happened.  I feel so badly for her sweet kids, grand kids, parents, brother, sister, nieces, nephews and everyone else that loves her so much.  Everyone loved her... she just had an awesome personality that drew people to her.  She had her struggles in life, there's no doubt about that, however she was always a person you just wanted to be around.  She was just so much fun!  Some of my best memories are hanging out with her.

My dear Amy... I love you so much, I regret that we haven't been as close the past few years.  I can't grasp why you made the decision that you have... however I will forever love you, miss you and always remember the great memories we made together!

My cousin Gary

Well I have some very sad news... my cousin Gary has an in-curable lung disease.  Caused from having pneumonia so many times and it's caused a lot of scar tissue to develop in his lungs.  When my aunt took him to the dr the other day, his oxygen level was so low it wouldn't even register on the testing machine they wanted him to breathe in.  This is not good at all.

Unfortunately there is nothing they can do for him except make him as comfortable as possible with inhalers and meds.  My aunt said that slowly but surely it will start to cut off his breathing over time and he will eventually live on oxygen and well... that's about it.  Gary knows what's going on but doesn't know the severity of it.  Because of other health conditions he has, my aunt said that it's best he doesn't know how serious it really is.  It would only make him upset which would cause more harm than good.  Why does it always seem like when it rains... it pours?  He's such a kind sole and the most giving and loving person in the world, but yet he's faced so many challenges in his life that have caused him so much pain and now this.  One more thing to cause him discomfort and pain once again.  It just doesn't make sense to me why things happen like they do, but I guess it's not really up to me to understand the "why" in life either.

Growing up, my aunt was like another mom to me and my cousins, Gary and Sheri were more like siblings to me then cousins.  We've always had a very close bond from the start, that's just how it's always been.  It breaks my heart to know what he's going thru and the long road he has ahead.

We just have to put it in Gods hands and let him lead the way thru the pain.

As Gary always says... "I love you and God Bless"

Carly Faye

I'm officially a great-aunt once again!  Here is our newest beautiful addition... Carly Faye.  She was born early this morning & weighed 6lbs 11oz.  Of course I could hardly wait to get off work so I could rush to see her.

My niece Rachel is doing great, a few complications right after her c-section, but she's doing just fine now.

I got to hold Carly almost the whole time I was there & got to feed her too.  It's amazing how little she is & now I can't even remember when Kayla was that little.  Those moments are so precious & go by way to quickly in my opinion.

I can't wait to take Kayla to meet her new little cousin, but I think we'll wait until Rachel & little miss Carly get home from the hospital & get settled in a little first.  I'm anxious to see how Kayla will react.  Carly's big sister Katie isn't quite sure what to think of her new little sister just yet but... she'll have plenty of time to adjust, no doubt.  It was cute to see Katie glance at her, pat her a few times then she was ready to go back to playing with her books & on to something else.

Isn't amazing how little babies just warm your heart.  Welcome to the family Carly Faye, we love you!

Conner is officially 1

Well it's official... tomorrow my sweet little grandbaby Conner is 1 year old now.  How is this even possible?

I think the funniest thing is that Kayla was suppose to be born before him & everything turned out the opposite & Conner decided to show up early.  Thankfully though, he was healthy & absolutely perfect.  He ended up staying a few nights in the hospital, but of course we were all just very thankful for his healthy arrival.

I know it might seem a little weird that I call him my grandbaby even though he's not technically flesh & blood to me, but hey... I love him just like he might as well be.  In my opinion that's all that matters.

Rach had his birthday party on Sunday, so Kayla & I headed to the big town of Orlando for the party.  Fred didn't end up going with me.  He was suppose to head out to Carter with a load of hay.  There was a ton of people there.  Conner got so many presents he got tired of opening them, ha ha.  I guess you can say, he's very loved... that's for sure!  I'm crossing my fingers that Kayla doesn't end up with near that many.  She's only turning 1 - she doesn't need that much, right?

I didn't get to really spend any time with Conner, because there was so many people there & so much was going on it was overwhelming for him I'm sure.  He got a little cranky after awhile but once he got into the cake he was happy & content again.  I know for a little one... it must be hard to open a present & not be able to just concentrate on playing with that one for awhile before having to move onto opening another one.  I can see the frustration there.  I would have to say overall though, he did great with everything!

I was hoping to get a few pics of him & Kayla together, but unfortunately I didn't.  Hopefully at Kayla's upcoming birthday party I can get some though.  I think that would be too cute.

I'm so proud of Rach.  She's done so well in her life & that just makes me so happy.  Especially to watch her with Conner, it's cute.  She informed me the other day that if all goes well, she will finally be graduating college in December... woohoo!  The funny part is that she won't find out how she did on her finals until after she walks across the stage, but hey I think if she gets to walk across the stage then that should be a for sure graduation, don't ya think?

People who don't know our situation, well it's sometimes hard to explain to them.  I typically get a funny look of confusion, but that doesn't bother me.  The fact is, that Rach & I have a strong bond & I truly believe it will always be that way.  We've gone through some difficult times together & always came out better on the other side.  I made a promise to her many many years ago that no matter what I would always be a part of her life & that was a promise that I planned on keeping.  Rach means the world to me & I love her as if she is my very own.

I believe that even though sometimes we may not understand the way our lives twist & turn, there is always a reason for the road in which we end up taking.  Sometimes it's a bumpy one, no doubt.  I have to say though... it's always worked out for the better.

Happy birthday to my sweet Conner - nana loves you!

March 5, 2009 5:30pm

Some dates are stuck in your mind, a permenant fixture for life.  You remember where you were, what you were doing & who you were with.  I have several that are like that... but one particular is March 5, 2009 5:30pm.  That was when my precious grandma became an angel.

I was lucky to be blessed with the sweetest grandma in the world & she was everything to me.  My entire life my grandma told me that I was her angel & that I was a true blessing from God.  We always had a strong bond together.  When she had a stroke & her health immediately took a downhill slide, it completely tore me apart.  Grandma was so special to me & then when my dad called to say that she had taken her last breathe... I felt like my chest was going to collapse.

It's never easy to let someone go, to say goodbye & know in your heart that it's forever. The last time you will hold their precious hand in yours & tell them how much you love them.  The last time I saw my grandma I had that tight knot in the bottom of my stomach... I knew she wasn't happy to continue on like she was.  Unable to speak clearly or even at all sometimes.  Not able to move around on her own without a wheelchair or help with everyday tasks.  Helpless I guess you could say.  It was just sad & very hard to witness.

The memories I have in my heart will always be there & it's not something anyone can ever take away from me.

Even though I wished so much that my grandma could have been at my wedding & been there for the birth of my daugher... I felt her there as my angel.  I know she was there in spirit & that gives me comfort.

My grandma was just an amazing woman to say the least.  She was so strong, proud & always said exactly what she thought without caring what anyone around her thought.  I learned a lot from her.

When my grandpa passed away I was so scared that it wouldn't be long before I would lose her too.  After 73 years of marriage... she said that she felt like she was married her entire life & that's all she knew.  The adjustment for her after my grandpa's death took awhile.  She wasn't use to sleeping alone or being alone & it was extremely hard for her, but after some time... she eventually said... "I'm ok to be alone now, so you don't have to worry anymore".  I knew that she meant what she said.  What I thought was so amazing was the fact that the year following his death she told me on their anniversary... we've been married 74 years now.  She explained that even though he's passed, doesn't mean that she's still not married to him in her heart & since one day they would be together again... their marriage wasn't over & it wasn't til death do us part because she didn't believe it had to end there since her love didn't end there.  Brings tears to my eyes just writing that.  Now... that's true love.  REAL LOVE!  That's the kind of love that everyone wants to have with someone.  Knowing that when you take your vows it's forever & no matter what you will stand beside each other throughout life until even after you take your last breathe.  That's pretty rare in my opinion, but that's the values I grew up with.  Love has no end.

I've been wanting to write a tribute blog to my grandma for awhile now, but just couldn't.  It's still hard sometimes.  It's hard to know that all I have is the memory of her voice telling me she loves me or the memory of her kissing me hello & goodbye each time she saw me... even if she saw me more than once that day.  She always said that you can never tell someone you love them to much because you never know if it will be the last phone conversation or the last hug you have with them.  How true that is.

I love you grandma!

little katie opal

Ok, I know... this is the second post this week on little Katie Opal.

I think I've said this before, but I'm a very proud great-aunt again!

There's no crime in that now is there?  Nope... I didn't think so.

Fred & I went to visit Katie Opal for the first time today & awe she's just the sweetest most precious little thing ever.  And oh how I love her so!

She looks a lot like my niece Rachel when she was born, definitely the hair for sure.  Rachel had a head full of brownish hair & so does Katie Opal.  She looks like her in the face too.

I tried to take her home w/me but for some reason my niece seems partial to her.  Hmmm... I guess that's because she's a proud new mommy.  Maybe she'll change her mind after little Katie isn't allowing her to get any beauty rest.

Just had to brag & show off another pic.

Katie Opal is here

Monday, April 19th - Katie Opal is officially here now - 7lbs 1oz!
Our little bundle of joy.

And seriously, isn't she just the cutest thing in the world!
YEAH I'M A PROUD NEW GREAT-AUNT ALL OVER AGAIN.

I just can't help it.  Gotta brag & share it w/everyone.

Katie Opal

My youngest niece Rachel is pregnant as I announced before & she's due at the end of April.  Actually on my great-niece Gabrielle's birthday... so that will be interesting!  Gabrielle is escatic about it.

Of course we know it's a girl, woohoo!
She decided to name her Katie Opal after both of her great-grandma's.  My dad's mom was Katie & my mom's mom was Opal.

If both of my grandma's were still alive today they would be jumping up & down with excitement.  But even though they aren't here in the flesh, I know they are doing cart-wheels in Heaven that she is naming her baby girl after both of them.

Now we just have to wait until the end of April before we get to hold little Katie Opal!
I can hardly wait!  :-)

a long day

Ok... the past two days are almost a blurr.  I posted last night around 8:30pm & then we went to Fred's parents house around 10ish to check on "Big Montana" because she should be calving anytime now & we were just sure it was going to happen last night.  We decided to camp out all night & check on her periodically throughout the night to watch her progress.  Fred & I finally shut our eyes around 3:30am for a few shut eyes but then back up at 6am to check on her.  No progress.

Around 9am Fred took me back home so I could get my truck & head over to my parents house to start working on boxing stuff up & moving it out to the storage building.  I knew this was going to be allot of work & would probably wear us out in no time but it was hard to even know where to start or end sometimes.

I know my mom has a reason for keeping the stuff that she does, but we just can't seem to figure that reason out & honestly we probably never will either.  With her coming home from the hospital this week, she needs to be able to move around the house with no obsticles in her way so she can avoid falling or tripping over stuff.  That was our reason for doing everything we did today.  By the time 6pm rolled around we were all absolutely exhausted & not to mention the fact Fred & I were working on only 3 hours of sleep & our energy was running very thin fast.

Fred & I went & ate dinner with dad tonight.  He appreciated the company.  He's been eating every meal by himself since mom's been in the hospital & I know he was excited to eat a good meal & have our company.

I went the past 4 days & haven't gotten stuck once.  Then coming home tonight at 8:30pm... pulling in the driveway... I decided I should turn around & face towards the gate since the snow will be re-freezing tonight & will probably be slicker then snot in the morning... the snow decided my truck shouldn't make the full turn around in the driveway!  So right this minute my truck is sitting sideways across the driveway... STUCK in the flippin snow.  Go figure.  This is how my luck runs just about all the time, I swear.  Grrr.

Big Montana went all day & didn't have the baby.
But now... at 10pm at night... she's in labor & hopefully in the next hour we'll be able to welcome a new baby calf!

So now I'm asking myself... why am I still awake & blogging at 10:30pm when my eyes are burning for sleep?  I have no smart answer for this question, except good night.

more snow & ice

Once again the weather this week sucked!  I didn't make it to work Thursday or Friday because of the snow & ice.  The weather people have been right on target with the weather again so they get a few points for that.

Don't get me wrong, having a 4-day weekend is a nice break from a stressful job, but when your paid hourly & if you don't work you don't get paid... that's a huge chunk of a paycheck that will be missing.  So it's a nice break but at the same time a huge stress being off work.  Can't win for losin' sometimes I swear.

Oh well... on a positive note...
Mom's knee is doing better.  Fred & I went to visit her in the hospital today & she was glad to have company.  I know she's bored out of her mind.  She hasn't been home since January 20th & she's more than ready to see home again.  We're thinking she might be released on Monday, but it will depend on what the therapist says Monday morning.  So we won't know anything until then.  My brother & I will be going thru my parents house tomorrow moving stuff around & boxing things up to move out to a storage building dad had delivered this week.  This should be interesting & quite a chore... for those who've been to my parents house know what I'm talking about!  Have you seen the show "Hoarders"?  Enough said.

I absolutely hate being boxed up in the house when the weather is crappy.
Like today for instance... we've been out & about doing things but for some reason after getting back home & sitting down, I start to feel bored, antsy & ready to get out of the house again.  Not sure how to explain it.  I'm not tired, but if I laid my head down I would probably fall asleep.  Ever have one of those days?  I'm having one of those days today.  Actually I was having one of those days yesterday too.  ha ha

I'm in the mood to go to a movie or something, I'm not even real sure.  Something that doesn't involve staying at home.

I should probably rest up for the long day ahead tomorrow.  It's only 8pm so who knows what we'll end up doing for the rest of the evening.

knee & birthday week

A little bit of everything is going on this week!

Let's see... mom's knee replacement surgery on Wednesday...
The surgery went well.  She didn't actually get to her room until a little after noon, with surgery then recovery.  I was surprised to see her in good spirits directly after her arriving to her room.  She was still a little goofy from the pain meds but other than that, she was doing fairly good.  They didn't waste any time getting the machine out & putting her right leg on it to start exercising.  Since she was on so many pain meds, she really couldn't feel anything just yet.

All in all, she's been doing good since Wednesday.  Tomorrow morning we're moving her to Deconess hospital to start her rehab/therapy & she'll be there for 1-2 weeks, depending on how well she does & her progress.  They want to get her to a point where she will be ok to go home & be able to move around on her own w/out allot of help.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed that everything goes well & she makes good progress & her recovery goes fairly easy for her.  It's hard to see her in the hospital like she is right now.

On another note... HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEETHEART!

In another hour it's officially my sweetheart's birthday.  I've made a few calls & arranged for some friends to meet up at Henry Hudson's for drinks to celebrate tomorrow evening.  I won't say what presents I've purchased in case he reads my blog before I give them to him tomorrow.  I had to make a few changes to his birthday presents this week because of some un-expected things that occurred towards the beginning of the week, but that's ok... it can wait for another time in the future.  I'm just excited to celebrate my honey's birthday tomorrow & I hope he has a great day!

Hopefully I will remember to take my camera & take pictures at Hudson's tomorrow night.  I'm always bad about forgetting my camera or if I do bring it then I forget to take pictures.  I'm goofy I know it.

Let's all sing together...

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday dear honey

Happy birthday to you

(just pretend I have a great voice & can sing) LOL

I Love you sweetheart & Happy Happy birthday!

knee replacement

My mom has had trouble with her knees for what seems like forever now.  She's needed knee replacement surgery on both knees for at least 7-8 years now.

The problem is that my mom has always put everyone else before herself.  The result unfortunately is that her health has taken a back seat.  Well enough is enough & we've been trying to convince her for several years now that she really needs to go to the dr & do something about her knees.

Finally a few months ago she made the decision she wanted to make a dr apointment & see what her options were.  We knew exactly what the dr would say before we ever got there, but I guess she had a small hope it wasn't as bad as were thinking... but it was... she needs both knees replaced... period.  Her right knee was in allot worse condition then her left, so we decided to start doing injections in the left knee & schedule a full knee replacement for the right.  She finished her left knee injections last week & surgery is scheduled for this Wednesday for the right knee.

It's hard to believe after talking about it & arguing with her for so many years now... we're just a few days away from surgery & starting on a path of better health for her.  Of course I'm excited & worried at the same time, I can't help it... she's my mom.  I only want the best for her & I've got my fingers & toes crossed that the surgery goes well & she has a quick recovery.

I'm taking my mom tomorrow to Kohl's to get some comfy pj's to wear in the hospital & for therapy afterwards, along with some much needed other things as well.  Depending on how worn out she is from the trip to Kohl's, we might make a quick last trip to the grocery store also.  She's been unable to shop by herself for awhile now, she needs assistance in order for her not to be completely worn smooth out half way thru the store.  Because of how bad her knees have gotten just in the past 1-2 years... it's almost completely eliminated her from doing much by herself or even going anywhere without assistance.

At first, mom was pretty nervous & not real sure about doing the surgery, but the closer the time gets... she seems ready to get it done & looks forward to being out of pain & able to walk & do things again.  Of course we all feel the same way too... we're ready for her to feel better & be able to get out & go where ever she wants to when ever she wants to.

I plan on posting good news Wednesday after her surgery!

aunt adelina

Here's how the headline read a little over a year ago on September 16, 2008.

September 16, 2008 - NewsOK.com Main Headlines

EDMOND — A 90-year-old Edmond woman is in critical condition this afternoon after being hit by a car while getting her mail, police said. Adelina Benne was hit about 1:30 p.m. by a car driven by Delbert Maxwell, 84, Edmond Police Department spokeswoman Glynda Chu said. Benne was walking across Bryant Avenue when she was hit. Maxwell tried to stop, but couldn’t, Chu said. Benne was taken to OU Medical Center in Oklahoma City. Maxwell did not receive a ticket.

My mom called me at work at 2:25pm that day. My dad had driven my Uncle Earl to the hospital behind the ambulance & mom had ran home to close up the house & to call me. I immediately left work & went to pick her up then we headed to the hospital.  Oh what a day that was... it was just a blurr in a way. A bad dream... a really really bad dream. Not that I would ever tell my mom this, but I honestly don't even remember driving us to the hospital. My body was driving but my mind was scattered somewhere else.  Seeing Aunt Adelina laying on the stretcher in the trauma room covered in blood, screaming in pain... I just wanted to collapse.
I've been to the emergency room & hospitals for many many different family members & friends over the years... but this time felt different for me. My Uncle Earl & Aunt Adelina have been very close to me my entire life. They built a house directly behind my parents house when I was around 8 years old. Even before they moved, I would spend the night with them & go to church with them on Sundays. They've always treated me like their very own child. When they moved, I pretty much lived at their house as much as I lived at my own.
Aunt Adelina started teaching me how to play the piano when I was 7 years old... she was an extremely good teacher, but after years off & on of playing, the piano just wasn't for me. I can still play, I learned allot from her, but the violin always had my #1 interest. She was originally from Venezuela & speaks fluent Spanish & even tried to teach me Spanish when I was growing up... but... the Spanish didn't really stick with me. I regret that now, I wish I would've tried harder to learn, studied more.  Uncle Earl & Aunt Adelina are extremely special people in my life, they mean the world to me. They've been like parents to me my entire life.

I held myself together for the most part of that day, I knew I had to be strong for my mom & everyone else. My Aunt was yelling in Spanish about how much pain she was in & begging for someone to give her something, it was allot for us to handle. The Dr's only gave her a little medication for pain, because they didn't want to give her to much & her blood pressure drop. They tried explaining this to her, but since she has Alzheimer's, she couldn't remember what they had told her, so she kept asking. When my Uncle walked over to the stretcher, leaned over to try & comfort her, then started telling my Aunt how much he loved her & that we were all there... I lost it. I had to step out of the room for a few minutes to put myself back together.

I've never seen one tear fall from Uncle Earl's eye my entire life, never. The look on his face, the swollen watery eyes, I could see the hurt, the love, everything all happening at once. It tore me up, I felt like someone had put a huge weight on my chest & I couldn't breathe.

After many x-rays, cat scans & all the other tests they did, the Dr's came in to tell us exactly what the results were. Thankfully her head scan came back fine - no internal bleeding. She had a broken nose bone, but apparently it was broken in a good place, nothing was blocking her ability to breathe through her nose, so they put some stitches in it & it would heal in time. Her right ankle was broken, the bone sticking out. Her left femur was broken really bad. Her pelvic area was broken in several places along with her right hip.
After hours of debating, the Dr's finally took her to surgery for her right ankle around 10pm that night. At that point in time, they didn't feel like her body can handle to much surgery - so since the bone was sticking out of her ankle, that was their #1 priority. The surgery went fine & the Dr said her ankle wasn't quite as bad as what they had originally thought, which was good news. They moved her from the trauma unit to surgery, then from surgery they moved her into ICU where she stayed for about a week. At her age... they were afraid to do to much at one time. The Dr's have said that after her stay at the hospital she would have to be moved to a therapy unit to live for several months. They told us she will be unable to walk for awhile... if ever again. She had a long recovery road ahead of her & it was going to be a painful process.
I had to leave the hospital around 5pm that day because I had to go take care of grandma & she needed her shot. I hurried though... then ran home to feed Abigail & get her situated, then left & returned to the hospital again. I think I was gone about an hour & half.

Around 9:30pm that night I finally took mom home to drop her off. She was tired I could tell. It had been a long day for everyone. After Aunt Adelina got out of surgery, my Aunt Oneta called mom to give her the update on how everything went & then mom called me to let me know. That was around midnight.
After dropping mom off at home, I headed towards my house... I got lost, like I somehow managed to get confused about where I was at, what street I was on, everything. Then I lost it, I had a break down. I decided at that point it was in my best interest to pull over & stop so I could put myself back together. I ended up pulling over at 1st Baptist Church parking lot... weird but true. All my train of thought was gone for some reason. How does that happen anyways? I scared myself, literally. I've lived in Edmond my entire life & I was driving down Bryant & I had no freakin clue where I was. After a few minutes of sitting in the parking lot of the church when I realized where I was actually at... I just cried. The thought of me not knowing where I was when I should've known, that's just jacked up.

Well now it's been over a year... Aunt Adelina was moved to a nursing home after she went thru recovery at a special therapy hospital for several months, where she's been most of the year.  After focusing most of my attention on my grandma at the beginning of the year & then losing her in March, I found it difficult to go visit Aunt Adelina at the nursing home.  As sad as it is to say, I haven't seen Aunt Adelina since I went to visit her in the hospital over a year ago.

It's been a hard year & I will admit that I've been affraid to go see her.  I can't explain it, but it's just been hard for me.  She's always been so special to me & a special part of my life growing up.

Today we are celebrating her 90th birthday at the nursing home & having a small come-and-go party for her for family & friends.  I've debated about going since my Aunt Oneta told me about the party.  I was hoping that Fred would be here to go with me & since she hadn't met him, I was hoping to introduce them, but unfortunately he's in McAlester & can't be here.  I called my mom last night to talk with her & I told her that if she had planned on going to Aunt Adelina's birthday party today, I would take her.  So now... after over a year of not seeing her, I'm going to get to see her today.  A part of me is excited but another part is still scared about going & a little emotional.

Aunt Adelina is an amazing woman.  She's one of those happy people, who loves everyone with no boundaries.  She would bend over backwards for anyone & she's always given 150% of herself when ever she can.  She's so full of knowledge & experiences in her life, coming originally from Venezuela where her extended family still resides.  Growing up I always thought she should've been a teacher, because she just has that special way about her that you want to learn from.

Happy birthday Aunt Adelina, I love you.

mom's dr appointment

Currently 28 degrees outside... so it's still freezing outside!

Yesterday I took my mom to the second doctor to discuss knee replacement surgery.  This has been a long drawn out process to even get my mom to go to the doctor to see about her knees.  I'm talking years & years.  I think she's finally reached the breaking point where she's ready to get the surgery & be out of pain.

We decided to do injections in her left knee before scheduling the right knee replacement.  They went ahead & did the first injection today & it went extremely well.  Mom was nervous about it, but the doctor assured her that the injections were a piece of cake... and well mom confirmed after they were done that indeed it was a piece of cake.  The shot was quick & didn't hurt at all, thankfully.  This is the first injection of five that she will have.  One per week for the next five weeks.  She's supposed to talk to dad about when they want to schedule the surgery & then we'll be calling today or Monday to make the appointment.

I know mom is nervous about the surgery, but she's also worried about dad being taken care of while she's in the hospital recovering.  Mom has spoiled dad their whole married life.  He doesn't know the first thing about running the washer/dryer to do laundry or anything.  He can make bacon & eggs & use the toaster, but I think that's the extent of his cooking abilities.  Of course I live within 6 miles from them so it's not a big deal for me to help out & make sure dad eats a good dinner in the evenings.  Mom is just a worry-wart... I guess that's where I get it from.

I'm very excited that after all these years, we've finally came this far & now within a few more months my mom will have a new right knee & hopefully be feeling better than she has in a long long time.  I can't wait until the day arrives she's up & moving around after surgery & recovery.  I wanna jump up & down just thinking about it.

happy turkey day

Well today is officially Happy Turkey Day! Has this year just flown by or is it just me?

If I think back to this time last year... let's see. I had just heard the news the Monday before Thanksgiving that my company was closing it's doors & I would have to start looking for another job. This was not the type of news anyone wants to hear right before the holidays for sure. At that moment I wasn't sure how I was going to make it through but somehow I've managed.

Thanksgiving is the time of year to think about all the things in your life that you are thankful for... even though there are things we all wish that were different, everyone still has a list of things that they're thankful for.

I'm very thankful for having the love & support of my wonderful family. I wish that everyone had a relationship with their family like I do with mine. I've been truly blessed that's for sure.

I'm thankful for being able to spend precious moments everyday with my grandma in her last years. Those are memories that I will have in my heart forever & nobody can take away or ever replace.

I'm thankful that I have a wonderful boyfriend (hopefully future husband) Fred. Words can't express how deep my love for him really is & how I look forward to spending the rest of my life with him & having his babies.

I'm thankful for all of my awesome friends. I have the greatest friends in the world. They're always supportive & there when ever I've needed them.

Really, I could go on & on with all the things I'm thankful for in my life, but those are just a few.

Today started way to early... got out of bed around 8am & started cooking. I made hashbrown casserole & 2 pans of apple dumplings. Needless to say time ran a little short & we didn't leave the house until 11:30am. We ran by Fred's parents house to drop off hashbrown casserole & 1 pan of apple dumplings, then headed towards Mustang to my brother's house. We got there at 12:30pm... better late then never right? Well, that's always my theory at least. Plus, I think everyone's pretty much used to me never being on time anyways. If I plan to be on time somewhere, it never fails something will happen that will cause me to be late & usually really late... so I finally just gave up & quit worrying about pushing myself.

After hanging out at my brother's house for a few hours, we left & headed back to Fred's parents house. We stayed there until about 6ish then headed home for the night. Sitting on the couch after eating two meals within a 3 hour period of time, my eyes started closing, so Fred decided it was time to take me home before I passed out on his parent's couch.

I can't help it, first mistake was that we stayed out way to late last night when we should've been a little smarter & went to bed at like 10pm. Then eating all that wonderful food today... twice... yeah that pretty much did me in. Lots of holiday food usually equals a nap shortly there after for me.

All in all... I'm thankful for everything & everyone in my life. I'm especially thankful for sharing Thanksgiving with both of our wonderful families. Today was just an all around great day!

Happy Turkey Day

it's a girl

Well it's official... I'm going to be the proud great-aunt again to a baby girl! My niece Rachel is pregnant, due on Gabrielle's birthday in fact, which is April 25th. Gabrielle is my great-niece, so how cool would that be if they shared the same birthday.

I'm so excited for my niece & I can't wait to have another great-niece.

This only makes my baby fever even worse then before. I've had baby fever for several years now & it just keeps getting worse. Especially since it seems like everyone I know has had babies in the past year or they are currently pregnant. I'm so jealous I can't even put it into words.

Unfortunately at the rate I'm going... I'll be lucky to have any children before I turn 40 years old. Very depressing to think about, so I try not to if I can help it. I joke about it all the time but deep inside it really bothers me & I'd give anything to have a marriage & children in my life. I still keep hoping & crossing my fingers for this to come true.

In the meantime, I will just enjoy everyone else's children.