up to 20 inches

Well here we go again... according to the weather people, parts of Oklahoma could get up to 20 inches of snow tonight/tomorrow.  Really, geez.  What is Mother Nature thinking right now.  I guess since we really haven't had any crazy weather this year, apparently she thinks we're due for it.  Who knows.

On one hand, it's a nice thought that I more than likely won't be making the drive to work tomorrow, but on the other hand... I'm not ready to be cooped up inside the house again.  I feel like I've been cooped up in the house for over 2 months now.

I've been wanting to make a trip to the store for a week now, but unfortunately I haven't gotten the chance to do so.  Luckily my husband made a grocery run today while I was at work to pick up a few necessary items to get us thru the next few days in case we're stuck in the house.

My little love bug Kayla is all nice & cozy in her swing tonight.  She has no worries of being cold, because she knows that her mommy will cuddle with her to assure her warmth.

My goal for this evening is to sleep.  I know that might sound stupid, but... considering I got absolutely no sleep Saturday night, then got to bed late last night & I just need to catch up on some Z's.  So everyone cross your fingers that I achieve my one small goal, ha ha.

I know this blog was boring, but for now that's about all my brain can handle.  I've had this killer headache all day long & after two doses of tylenol, it's still there & appears to not be going away anytime soon.  Ugh.

A little attention

These days I'm really slacking with the blogs... I know.

The sad thing is that I'll start one, not finish & then by the time I get back to it... days have passed & then I'll think of something else to write about instead.  Ugh.

So let's start with this past week.

Last Sunday was my sweetheart's birthday.  I asked him what he wanted for dinner & his request was KFC, so that's what he got & I stopped by Braums & picked up for ice cream for us also.
Monday, the nurse came & Kayla weighed in at 9lbs 9oz... wow!  She's growing so fast already.  She has already emerged from her New Born clothes, they are a little past snug at this point.  Her hair has gotten lighter too.  Unfortunately I was only able to take pics of her in just a few of her new born outfits before she out grew them.  :(

I've officially been back to work full time for 2 weeks now.  Let's just say it's been a long two weeks.  At first it was hard not to think about Kayla during the day & I even made a few trips during my lunch hour to my parents house to visit her, but with each day it's gotten a little easier for me.  I use to not mind working after 5pm if there were things that needed to be done, but nowdays I can't help but think every minute after 5pm that I'm still at work... well that's taking away from my evening time with my family & I don't like that.

I can't speak for everyone but I know for me, I can't wait to see my hubby & our baby & spend as much time in the evenings together as we can before it's time to pass out... then we get up the next morning & do it all over again.  This is such a mundane routine from Monday thru Friday.  We spend more time at work then we do with our families.  That seems backwards to me, but I guess that's called life.

For the most part, I've felt on the up & up lately.  But I also have days where I feel lonely & need a little extra attention.  I want to be surprised with a date night.  I want that phone call that says "honey I can't wait to get home, I'll be there in 15 minutes"... & he actually show up in 15 minutes instead of several hours later.  I love being a mom... but first & foremost, I love being a wife.  Somedays are just hard for me when he's not here or doesn't show up until 9 or 10 during the week nights.  To me it just feels like he's not in a rush to get home to spend time with our family.

The bottom line is, I think we're past due for another date night, but why do I always have to be the one who has to ask for one?  Why can't he come up with a plan & tell me that he's taking me out?  I hate asking for attention.  Seriously, no girl wants to have to ask for attention.  It doesn't mean as much when we have to ask for stuff.  Am I right?  Ugh.

Well speaking of which, me & Kayla are just chillin at home by ourselves tonight... again.  Hubby left yesterday to head out west & won't be returning until sometime in the morning.  My bet is it will be more like afternoon/evening though... that just seems to always be my luck.  Hence the reason why I feel like he's never in a rush to get home to us.

I did however start cleaning the inside of my truck before it got dark outside tonight.  It's long past due for a cleaning inside & out.  I'm hoping that I will get a chance to finish cleaning it tomorrow & maybe even give it a bath.  This all depends on Miss Kayla & if she's in a good enough mood to allow me to step outside to do so or not.  Or... if her daddy happens to be home to watch her while I finish.

The weather was absolutely awesome today.  Almost 80 degrees, how un-believeable is that?
Then come Monday/Tuesday, according to the weather dudes it's supposed to snow.  Welcome to Oklahoma I guess, geez.  So with that said, a grocery store trip is on the agenda for tomorrow as well.

Well it's 11pm & Miss Kayla should be waking up soon from her beauty rest.  Personally I don't think she could possibly get any more beautiful but hey... that's just my opinion.  (wink)

Hurry home

Tonight Fred comes home from Colorado... he's been gone since Wednesday & I'm more than ready for him to return home now.

This is the first longest stretch for him to be gone since baby Kayla arrived.  Needless to say this has been the longest 5 days for me.  Kayla & I both can't wait to see him.

It's felt like I've been living like a single mom since he's been gone.  Working & taking care of baby Kayla all by myself.  For the most part it's been ok, we've managed.  I actually took a short nap today with Kayla & that was definitely over due.  I feel so much better even though it was only for about an hour.

I can't get over how peaceful she looks when she's sleeping.  I know I should be catching some Z's while she is, but sometimes I catch myself just starring at her beautiful face while she's in dream land.

Over the past few days, Kayla & I have been playing dress up with all the outfits that I know are getting a little too snug & soon she will no longer be able to wear anymore.  Why you may ask?  Because I want pictures!  I want pictures of her in every single outfit so that I have proof to show people just how damn cute she was in each one.  Then when she gets older I can show her the pictures & hopefully she doesn't cringe at the outfits I dressed her in.

I know I've turned in to one of those crazy mom's who play dress up with their child, but I simply can't help it.  It must be an illness or something, who knows.  Surely I'm not the only crazy mom out there that does this, I mean seriously.

When you're a little girl growing up you play dress up & house with your dolls... and now being a grown woman, I get to do it for real.  It's my real life "house".

As Kayla lays there like a little angel while I write this blog, I think to myself... how much in love I am with my husband & daughter.  It's amazing the love I have in my heart for both of them.

My one prayer is that both of them hold me on the high pedestal that I hold them on.

I love you honey & my sweet baby Kayla.

p.. never hurt anyone

Here's my exciting moment for the day that happened yesterday.

So after I patiently awaited my sweet baby to slip off to dream land... I made a b-line for the shower in hopes I could successfully take a shower before she awoke & decided to cry out.

And guess what?  I made it through my shower without her crying.  What a relief.  Although she was wide awake, so it was at that moment I decided I would go ahead & give her a bath while she was in a good mood.  I was still in my robe when I stripped her down & she got a nice warm soothing bath.  I held her next to me & was fixing to throw a towel over when all of a sudden... she decided to pee.  Yep... all down the front of my robe & me.

The funny part is... my first thought wasn't the fact I was the one who was getting peed on... I immediately thought "oh no she just got a bath".  I quickly re-washed her bottom half, threw the towel over her & rushed her to the bedroom for a diaper & clothes.

I have another confession to make, while I'm telling pee stories.

This morning at 5am when Miss Kayla awoke for a diaper change & breakfast bottle... in the process of me taking the pee pee diaper off & placing a clean fresh diaper on her... she decided to pee again... like a small pool on the bed.  My bed.  Right where my legs are when I sleep.  So after I finished changing her & giving her a breakfast bottle, what did I do after I laid her back in her bassinet?

Not wanting to get up & change the bed sheets... I rolled over to Fred's side of the bed & went back to sleep.

Yeah I know, everyone is probably saying GROSS right now, but shut up... I was tired & hell a little pee never hurt anyone has it?

1 month

One month ago last Sunday, two things happened.  The birth of our little angel Kayla & the death of my Aunt Betty.  I guess you could say life made a full circle that day.

The past month has definitely been life changing to say the least... but in a good way.  Don't get me wrong, the lack of sleep has caught up to me & some days I'm a walking zombie.  Other than being sleep deprived, I'm enjoying every minute of my little angel.

She weighed 6lbz 14oz at birth & now she officially weighs 8lbz 15oz as of 01/10/2011.  It's amazing how fast they really grow.  I'm starting to wonder if she's going to get to wear some of the cute new born clothes in the closet, since a bunch of them are short sleeved & not really meant for this time of year.  Maybe I'll have to play dress up one day & take pictures of her in each outfit so at least I can say she wore them at least once.  I'm not sure she would enjoy playing dress up though...this might have to be a several day process.

I've been slowly making my appearance at work last week & getting back into some kind of work routine.  I'm not going to say I officially have any real routine down just yet, because the honest truth is that everything's been pretty crazy.  This brings us back to the sleep deprived issue at hand.  It's hard to get up early in the morning & get motivated to put yourself together enough to start the workday, when you've only had very few hours of sleep during the night.  Now this will get much easier once little miss angel decides to start going to bed at 8pm & sleeping until I decide it's time to get up...wait...I'm not sure that's exactly how that will work, but hey I can hope right?

Here lately I've been beating myself up thinking how much I wished I had my scrapbook stuff set up so I can start her books, unfortunately I have a lot of unpacking to do before I get things organized enough to even think about working on them though.  I know before I know it time will have slipped away & I'll be behind in her scrapbooks just like I am in all the other scrapbooks I have started & not finished too. Ugh.  I wish I could clone myself so that there would be enough of me to get everything done.  I'm not sure everyone would agree there should be two of me running around though, ha ha.

Today is a good day though, celebrating one month & 4 days since the birth of my baby girl.  I'm so thankful that she was born healthy & hasn't had any problems.  What else could we possibly want...other than a beautiful, healthy, precious, sweet baby.  I mean really...life is great isn't it?

Knowing that we're in charge of the up bringing of this little tiny human is simply amazing to take in & think about at times.  I already can't imagine my life without her.  I look forward to seeing her sweet face from the moment I wake up in the morning & when I'm sitting at the office I can't wait to get off work to pick her up.  It's just crazy how your life changes in so many ways when you have a child.  My whole thought process has changed as well.  Now these days, all I want to write about is her... & that's it.

Kayla officially went to her first rodeo meeting tonight with me.  It's never to early to start breaking her in, ha ha.  Staring in April she'll make her first apperance at the rodeo too... I'm just going to assume she's excited about that as well.

It's hard for me not to drag her everywhere to show her off to everyone I see.  I guess that's just the proud mommy coming out in me.  I also have this bad feeling that I'm going to be one of those over protective mommy's too... yikes... watch out Kayla.  (smile)

10 Tips for Relationship Bliss

I read this on a website & thought it was good, so I decided to put it in my blog.  I know that relationship/marriage can be hard sometimes... & as my mom & grandma always told me, it's a day to day job that you have to work at together to make it work long term.  My grandpa always told me to never give up & the most important part of a marriage is to remember to love each other... each & every day as if it were your last.  He was a very wise man.  My grandparents must have done something right to have been together 73 years before he passed.

10 Tips for Relationship Bliss

1.  Celebrate the small stuff.
"It's not enough that your partner knows that you take pride in his or her accomplishments. You have to show it. Making a fuss over the small, good things that happen everyday can boost the health of your marriage."

2.  Learn how to fight productively.
The key to fighting productively is to recognize when a disagreement is going in the wrong direction and to take steps to calm things down and repair rifts."

3.  Silence is not golden.
"By staying quiet and avoiding conflict when things bothered them, they had missed important opportunities to cultivate and grow their relationship."

4.  Don't put negative thoughts into the universe.
"Men and women who had pondered thoughts of divorce in 1980 were nine times more likely to have gotten divorced by the end of the study."

5.  Plan together.
"Couples who planned a baby's arrival or who were equally joyous at becoming parents were far more likely to maintain their marital happiness or even enjoy an increase after the baby was born."

6.  Maintain a circle of friends and support.
"Strong friendships outside the marriage can take the pressure off your relationship, help you work things out away from your spouse, and ultimately protect your marriage from unnecessary stress and discord."

7.  Overcompensate for mistakes.
"Do marriage math. Even when you make a mistake, tell yourself that you're going to do at least five positive things for your spouse to make up for it, and then do them. And don't wait until you bicker to turn on the charm. Nice gestures and comments go far in a marriage, they are easy to do, and they will help insulate your marriage from being damaged by the inevitable bad days."

8.  Set the marriage bar high.
"Husbands and wives who hold their partners to a reasonably high standard have better marriages. If you expect a better, more satisfying relationship, you improve your chances of having one."

9.  Give it a break.
"Sometimes, improving your marriage means giving it a break. Increasing your connections with family, friends and society is good for your marriage."

10.  Be aware of your body language.
"Eye rolling is a painfully obvious sign of contempt, and it's a powerful predictor that your relationship is in serious trouble."

Happy New Year 2011

Well here we are... it's officially 2011 now.  Whew.  (still hard to believe)

The official countdown starts to me making my appearance back at work this upcoming week.  I have to admit I'm a little nervous about going back to work & leaving Miss Kayla.  Even though I will be leaving her with my parents most of the time while I'm at work... it's still going to be hard to do.  Although I do look forward to getting back to work & back to a routine in some sense, it's just hard to think about.  I know that Kayla will be fine while I'm at work, it just sucks to have to leave her so soon.  Unfortunately I don't have the option of staying at home with her full time.  I'm not sure that would be healthy for me to do anyways, even if I did have the option.

I've only left her a few times so far & only for brief periods of time.  So we really haven't been apart much.  Luckily I'm only going back half days to start off with, so hopefully I don't have to much of a breakdown during that time frame.  I have a long list of things awaiting me when I return to work so hopefully that will keep me busy enough to keep my mind of Kayla while I'm away from her.

I can't say how glad I am that we moved right down the street from my parents.  It's been more than helpful to have them close & with the recent scare of dad being in the hospital again... it's let me realize their age & how living so close allows the opportunity for Kayla to develop a close relationship with them in their last years.  I was only 8 years old when my grandma (dad's mom) passed away & I'm thankful we lived close to her & I was able to have the bond I had with her, I will always cherish that.  This time dad's visit to the hospital was pretty bad & definitely a lot worse then the other visit 2 years ago was.  Even though he was released to go home yesterday, he still has several weeks to fully recover & get back on his feet again.

The truth is... I'm scared.  I'm scared to death of losing my dad.  The mere thought brings tears to my eyes & I can't even imagine how to begin to deal with it.  He's my dad.  He's always been my rock.  Even though he hasn't always agreed with decisions I made as an adult, he's always stood beside me.  When I've fallen face first in the dirt, he's always been there to tell me to get the hell up, wipe the dust off & keep going.  He's never been one to sugar coat things EVER.  That's where my strength comes from... is him.  That's where I learned to be strong & that if I'm determined enough to do something, then I can do it, nothing can stop me.

I can't help but have some jealousy issues considering my brother is 20 years older then me & he's had 20 more years with our parents... then I have.  I know it may sound stupid to put it like that, but that's me being honest about how I feel.  I want my parents to see baby Kayla & any other children we may have, grow up to become young adults.  Both of my nieces have had that opportunity & even have children of their own now too.  I guess sometimes I take advantage of the fact my parents have always been there & I try not to think about the day when they won't be anymore.  That's a hard one.  It's hard to imagine living a life without them.

My sweet grandma has been gone almost 2 years now... & I still have her phone number programed in my cell phone.  Keep in mind I've gotten a new phone since she's been gone too.  I just couldn't bare the thought of removing her phone number.  I'm not sure why.  I don't have the answer to that.  Even though she's in a better place, that doesn't change the sadness in my heart that she's not here to hold my baby Kayla & wasn't able to attend my wedding.

I know... everyone is probably thinking that I'm on the sad train today & well maybe you're right.  It must be hormones, at least that's what I'm going to blame it on for now.  Talk about a roll-a-coaster somedays, wow.

I guess I had hopes of spending more quality time with my hubby this weekend, but as it looks like that's probably not going to happen.  It would be nice for him to come up with an idea for us to do something together or maybe surprise me with renting a movie I've been wanting to see, something, anything.  He has a slight addiction to ebay & craigslist... so I have to say that most of the time when he's home, he's on the laptop.  I'll admit it's kinda frustrating sometimes.  It's just nice to be recognized or have some extra attention right now.  I guess you could say I've fallen in to that same ole role every other mom has... nobody wonders about me, it's all about Kayla & suddently I've become transparent.  To a certain degree, I'm totally on board with that, because Miss Kayla is the center of my world no doubt.

Well I'm attempting to get some work done from home today, to hopefully knock out a few things in advance before I get to work next week & get some hours in too.  Although, Miss Kayla is only allowing me about 30 minutes at a time before becoming restless for some reason.  Go figure as soon as her daddy left earlier, she immediately woke up... like some kind of alarm went off or something, what's up with that.

I made the decision to write a quick blog today in between work & Kayla time.  Now I must return to my endless amount of paperwork to enter, ugh.

Well anyways... Happy New Years day everyone.  Let the new year begin!