Week 13-15

This week marks 15 weeks since we started counseling with Paula & attempting to repair & restore our marriage.

The last time Fred saw Paula was on November 16th, 3 weeks ago.  So far he hasn't mentioned when or if he's going to make another appointment with her.  I'm trying to be patient, but that's hard to do.  I want him to be motivated in making the effort to make the appointments on his own without me having to ask or remind him.

I wrote Paula a letter the other day & mailed it old fashion "snail mail" to her.  (I don't have her email address)  I just wanted to express my over all feelings & highlight some things I think we've made progress with.  It was a little bit of everything all wrapped up in 2 pages.  I can't explain why I decided to sit down & write her a letter, it just felt like the right thing to do, so that's what I did.

I'm really thinking next week I will call & see if I can make an appointment with her for myself.  Even if Fred doesn't take the lead on making his next appointment or being motivated to do so... well that doesn't hold me back from going to Paula for myself.  I've learned a lot from her & she helps me see things in a different way.  It's very enlightening.

As several people know, anytime I post a new blog... a very select few receive it automatically via email.  Well Fred was one of those people.  I say was... because that's in the past tense now.  After a not-so-nice conversation between us about a month ago, I removed him from the list.  It's not like he can't go to the website & still read it, he's always more than welcome to do that, but it's just not conveniently delivered to his email anymore.  He said my blog was stupid, blah blah blah... which really set me off.  If he didn't like my blog or wished that I remove him from the list, it could have been said in a completely different manor.

The only reason I have this blog in the first place is strictly for myself.  When I write, I feel relaxed.  Even though I know sometimes I tend to be a little over the top crazy, but it's all in fun.  It gives me the opportunity to just say whatever is on my mind, even if I'm a little nuts at times.

We just have to take it one day at a time with baby steps.  My hope is one day soon, it will start to get a little easier.

Hugs to everyone - good night!

4 Teeth

Kayla officially has 4 teeth now... watch out I think in the next few days she might have a whole mouth full.  Seems like over night two more appeared on the bottom.  This morning is when the 4th one finally came through on the bottom.  I could tell it was fixing to make its appearance, but ya never know exactly when that will happen, you just have to keep checking every day.

Her teeth are so cute!  They are so little & adorable.

I bought her a toothbrush & toothpaste awhile back & tried to start brushing her first top teeth but she wasn't having any part of that.  She clinched her lips tight together & wouldn't even allow the toothbrush near her.  Guess we'll have to keep working on that one.  So far, I haven't been successful at even getting the toothbrush in her mouth yet.

I've been dying to get a picture of her itty bitty teeth, but I haven't been successful at that either.  Everytime I have the camera ready & snap a shot, she somehow closes her mouth at the exact moment the picture was snapped.  Go figure, right.

In less than a week, she will be 1 year old.  Ugh, I'm so not emotionally ready for this.  She's already growing to fast... what do I do?  I haven't heard the words mama yet either, so I'm still patiently awaiting that every day.  She's babbling more & more each day, so I'm sure it won't be long now.  I'm just so anxious to hear those words though!

I bought some of her birthday party stuff a few days ago, so I'm kinda prepared for next weekend.  We are just planning a small gathering with cake & ice cream, nothing to major.

Sadly, Friday on her actual birthday we have my company Christmas party that night.  It's only for a few hours though, so that won't be so bad.  My BFF Kat & her husband are coming up to spend the night & go to the party with us.  It's been really nice since Kat & I work together now, we get to see each other more than ever before & spend our lunches & breaks together.  Now if I could somehow convince them to move closer... hmmm... I'll have to keep working on that one.

Hopefully little Love Bug sleeps all night tonight.  Last night she slept from 8-midnight then decided to wake up & wasn't in the mood to go back to sleep for awhile.  I rocked her until she was content then she finally passed back out again.  This morning she didn't take a nap, then when I was getting ready to feed her lunch, she passed smooth out in her high-chair, so I scooped her up & laid her in bed for a much needed nap.  She slept for a little while, but then was back up & ready to play again.  When she awoke from her afternoon nap, she was crying & very upset.  I'm thinking her teeth were bothering her pretty bad.  She seemed so worn out & ended up passing back out in my arms while I was holding her, so I just held her & let her sleep in my arms for over an hour.  She needed the rest & of course I didn't mind holding her while she slept either.  I enjoy every single one of these moments.

Hopefully she'll be able to sleep better tonight & wake up happy in the morning!

4 day Thanksgiving

It was so incredibly nice to have 4 days off work for Thanksgiving!  I felt like we got a lot accomplished over the weekend too.

Thanksgiving Day we went to my brother's house for lunch & ended up staying until almost 3pm.  Then we stopped by Fred's parents house to say hi before heading home for the day.  Poor Kayla was absolutely exhausted by the time we arrived home.

She has a routine every day & when her routine gets out of whack, it takes her the whole day after to recoop & get back on track again.

I'm not one of those crazy Black Friday shoppers, so I didn't leave the house at all Friday except later that evening to go grab some dinner for us.  I will admit it was tempting, especially with all the good deals going on, but I just can't convince myself to actually get out & do it.

I spent most of the weekend working around the house, trying to get the den in order, cleaning & random other things.

Saturday my parents watched Kayla for a few hours while we went in search of a new bed.  A few weeks ago we stopped in Mathis Brothers & I have to say that I will never shop there again.  That place is completely nutts!  You barely get in the door & 90 sales people are waiting to attack you, oh I hate that.  I don't like being harrassed when I'm trying to shop, not to mention there's one million other people in the store at the same time & each with a sales person following them around everywhere. Ugh.  So Saturday we went to Bob Bills & we had a great experience there.  The sales guy that helped us, was nice.  The atmosphere was more calm & not so crazy.  The best part was that we found a bed & bought it!  Despite my reservations about buying a King size bed, that's what we ended up with.  They had a special deal going... King size for the price of the Queen & the King size came with sheets & pillows.  What a deal, huh!  Then we browsed the discount section & found a headboard for $68, woohoo.  Needless to say, Saturday was a great day for us.

We ordered the lower profile box springs so our bed wasn't ready to be picked up until yesterday.  After nurse Shirley left, Fred & I hooked up the trailer & headed to Bob Mills to claim our new bed.  By the time we got that loaded, back home again, then rushed around to get everything moved around & set up... it was 8pm by the time we picked Kayla back up from my parents house.  But let me tell you... that was the best nights sleep I've had in a long long time.  Just like sleeping on a cloud I tell ya!

Sunday I spent most of the day, cleaning house, doing laundry & all the usual house hold chores that come every week.

It was just so nice to have enough days off work that I didn't feel rushed around to get everything done in two days like usual.  Since Christmas falls on a Sunday this year, we are only getting that following Monday off work.  I'm seriously considering taking off a few extra days in there somewhere, just to have a little extra time.  I'm not sure how or if I can swing that just yet, but I definitely plan on looking into it.

We have a lot to be thankful for this year as we always do.  Great family & friends & most of all our beautiful little love bug Kayla.  It warmed my heart to be able to spend more time with her over the 4 day holiday, I enjoyed every minute.