So what's going on with baby Kayla these days?
According to "WhatToExpect.com"...
Currently should be tipping the scales at almost four pounds and could be topping out at just about 19 inches.
In my opinion, I think Kayla weighs at least 50 lbs now & she's currently practicing her kick boxing techniques.
As the weeks pass by, Kayla gets a little stronger. It's a very different feeling to be lying in bed looking at my belly & watching her movements at this point. Sometimes painful but still a really cool feeling to know that there's actually a human being in there that we've created.
When I think about the fact that last Christmas I had no plans, wasn't expecting or trying for children yet... and now this Christmas we'll have baby Kayla in our Christmas pictures & in our arms, that's just unbelievable. It's wild how quickly life can change & how it seems to be that some things just happen for a reason without us understanding or knowing exactly why.
Yesterday I had a really bad day & unfortunately it continued thru the evening & into early morning as well. For the most part I've been in good spirits thru the pregnancy, but of course I've had days of stress, depression & a roll-a-coaster of emotions. Those few days that I experience those things, I tend to question myself in every way possible.
I've always wanted to be a mom & have children... but will I be a good mom? Am I bad person for wanting to work a full time job & raise a child as well? What if baby Kayla gets here & I have a hard time leaving her to go back to work?
A million questions that I'm sure go thru every pregnant woman's mind. I guess when your going thru it you feel all alone for some reason. Even though you know that close friends & family have been in your exact shoes before.
With the horrible day I had yesterday, followed a really rough day physically for me today. This morning I questioned whether I could pull myself together enough to drive myself to work & make it thru the day without wanting to crawl in a hole. Which I will admit was tempting several times. Not sure why, but I was so dizzy this morning I just wanted to crawl back into bed & hope that it would go away. It was almost 10am before I didn't feel as dizzy anymore, but when I got on the elevator to head downstairs for lunch break, the dizziness returned for a brief period. Once I met my hubby for lunch & returned back to work I started to feel some better as the day progressed.
I realized today that my body is just not capable of being stressed out or upset like I was yesterday thru last night. I had to drag myself thru the day with swollen eyes, a massive headache & hoping the knots in my stomach would eventually vanish completely. It was just flat out rough in every sense & I know it's not healthy for me or baby Kayla.
I guess it really comes down to others around me realizing that right now is the time to make an extra effort to be kind & caring & to take care of me just like they know I would take care of them in return. The last thing I ever want to do is cause anyone else around me severe stress or anxiety, so I hope that those closest to me feel the same way about me as well. Physically I know that I can't experience another day like yesterday or last night. It's just to much. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I don't have to go thru that again.
On a much brighter note...
I'm looking forward to spending some much needed quality time with my hubby this evening. Since his return from South Dakota we haven't gotten to do that & the only way to have time... is to make time, right? I think sometimes we all let everyday life slip away to fast without taking a moment to stop & enjoy each other.
So that's my plan for this evening & I hope it works out.
No comments:
Post a Comment