lunch minus one

So typically every month if we meet the goals that are set for the prior month... the bosses take everyone out to lunch somewhere.

Last week, it was decided since we met the goals for last month, we would go to lunch sometime this week.  The boss told everyone to start thinking of a good day for everyone to go, etc.  I've worked here over a year now & have been included everytime the goals were met & we all went to lunch.  Somehow this time I wasn't included.  I'm not quite sure what to think about it right now.  I'm a little confused, hurt, upset, etc.

What does this mean?  Am I not doing a good job... do they feel that I don't deserve the reward of lunch with everyone else... maybe they want to get everyone together to talk about me... damn I'm confused.

I feel like a kid whose been sat in the corner.

I'm not pyschic by any means, but for some reason I have this feeling when everyone comes back they will all play it off like "why didn't you come meet us for lunch?" or something along those lines.  Typically people will ride together to meet up where ever we're going to eat at.  Nobody even mentioned one word to me about any of it.  Hell maybe I'm wrong... maybe they won't say one word about everyone even meeting for lunch today, who knows.  Maybe they are all crossing their fingers I won't mention it.

It's not like I have the money to take myself to lunch to get anything either.  I'm flat broke right now.  Ok... I'm always flat broke.  Since it doesn't matter if  I leave for lunch or not, they still take 30 minutes out of my pay everyday, so I usually at least drive down the street & park in a parking lot somewhere & sit for 30 minutes then drive back to work.  I can't afford the gas to drive around for 30 minutes, so I have to just go somewhere & park.  I've been known to go to Wal-Mart to walk around & buy absolutely nothing but just something to kill a little time.

It's days like today that I wish my phone would ring & someone would say "I'm on my way to take you to lunch."  Just to make me feel better.  I know it won't happen, but I can still dream right?

Well I guess I'm off to kill 30 minutes somewhere for a lunch break.