I was lucky to be blessed with the sweetest grandma in the world & she was everything to me. My entire life my grandma told me that I was her angel & that I was a true blessing from God. We always had a strong bond together. When she had a stroke & her health immediately took a downhill slide, it completely tore me apart. Grandma was so special to me & then when my dad called to say that she had taken her last breathe... I felt like my chest was going to collapse.
It's never easy to let someone go, to say goodbye & know in your heart that it's forever. The last time you will hold their precious hand in yours & tell them how much you love them. The last time I saw my grandma I had that tight knot in the bottom of my stomach... I knew she wasn't happy to continue on like she was. Unable to speak clearly or even at all sometimes. Not able to move around on her own without a wheelchair or help with everyday tasks. Helpless I guess you could say. It was just sad & very hard to witness.
The memories I have in my heart will always be there & it's not something anyone can ever take away from me.
Even though I wished so much that my grandma could have been at my wedding & been there for the birth of my daugher... I felt her there as my angel. I know she was there in spirit & that gives me comfort.
My grandma was just an amazing woman to say the least. She was so strong, proud & always said exactly what she thought without caring what anyone around her thought. I learned a lot from her.
When my grandpa passed away I was so scared that it wouldn't be long before I would lose her too. After 73 years of marriage... she said that she felt like she was married her entire life & that's all she knew. The adjustment for her after my grandpa's death took awhile. She wasn't use to sleeping alone or being alone & it was extremely hard for her, but after some time... she eventually said... "I'm ok to be alone now, so you don't have to worry anymore". I knew that she meant what she said. What I thought was so amazing was the fact that the year following his death she told me on their anniversary... we've been married 74 years now. She explained that even though he's passed, doesn't mean that she's still not married to him in her heart & since one day they would be together again... their marriage wasn't over & it wasn't til death do us part because she didn't believe it had to end there since her love didn't end there. Brings tears to my eyes just writing that. Now... that's true love. REAL LOVE! That's the kind of love that everyone wants to have with someone. Knowing that when you take your vows it's forever & no matter what you will stand beside each other throughout life until even after you take your last breathe. That's pretty rare in my opinion, but that's the values I grew up with. Love has no end.
I've been wanting to write a tribute blog to my grandma for awhile now, but just couldn't. It's still hard sometimes. It's hard to know that all I have is the memory of her voice telling me she loves me or the memory of her kissing me hello & goodbye each time she saw me... even if she saw me more than once that day. She always said that you can never tell someone you love them to much because you never know if it will be the last phone conversation or the last hug you have with them. How true that is.
I love you grandma!
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