things only a mother could teach

I got this in an email & I just loved it so I had to share...

My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION: “Just wait until your father gets home”

My Mother taught me about RECEIVING: “You are going to get it when we get home”

My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE: “What were you thinking? Answer me when I am talking to you… Don’t talk back to me!”

My Mother taught me LOGIC: “Because I said so, that’s why.” & if you fall out of that tree and break your neck you’re not going to the store with me.

My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE: “If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to stick like that.

My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD: “If you don’t pass your spelling test, you’ll never get a good job.

My Mother taught me HUMOR: “When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”

My Mother taught me about SEX: “How do you think you got here”

My Mother taught me how to BECOME AND ADULT: “If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up”

My Mother taught me about GENETICS: “You’re just like your father”

My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE: “When you get to be my age, you will understand”

My Mother taught me about JUSTICE: “One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you, and then you will see what its like.

My Mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL: “If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week.”

My Mother taught me FORESIGHT: “Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you are in an accident.”

My Mother taught me IRONY: “Keep crying and I will *give* you something to cry about”

My Mother taught me about STAMINA: “You’ll sit there until all that spinach is finished.”

My Mother taught me about WEATHER: “Your room looks like a damn tornado hit it.”

My Mother taught me about PHYSICS PROBLEMS: “If I yell because a meteor is coming towards you, would you listen then?”

My Mother taught me about HYPOCRISY: “Do as I say not as I do”

My Mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE: “I brought you into this world and I can take you out.”

My Mother taught me BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION: “Stop acting like your father”

My Mother taught me about ENVY: “There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do!”