Looking back, one year ago

From time to time, I like to look back on a year ago & think about what has happened between then & now.

I remember it like it was yesterday... I had made the decision to switch jobs from a stable environment to what I thought was going to be the perfect job, with much better pay.  Then the Monday following our honeymoon weekend... I was informed I had no job.  We had such a wonderful honeymoon/vacation in Branson, MO I simply couldn't believe this would happen.  Not to mention I was 23 weeks pregnant at the time, so I was a complete emotional wreck.

At that moment, I kept telling myself that there had to be something better out there & that God must have a much bigger plan ahead.  Low & behold, that was exactly right.  I was so down on myself, but luckily the job that I had left originally... well they were happy to have me back again, so that was the first miracle.

The second miracle was that, a job I had turned down shortly after making the initial switch, well... it was re-opening & they wanted me!  Pregnant & all.  They knew when they hired me I was pregnant & would be taking leave in just a few short months.  That was just more than a miracle in my eyes.  And even better, the pay was good!

Well I'm still at the same job & I couldn't be more thankful to have it.  Like every job, it has its ups & downs, but honestly... I always step back & think about how truly thankful I am to have this job & work at this wonderful place.  If it wasn't for them accepting me while I was pregnant, I'm not sure financially where we would be at today.

There have been more than enough times in my life that I wasn't sure what was ahead or why did this have to happen to me situations.  I'm sure we've all been there.  It's nice to look back & see how many broken bridges you've conquered & realize that you can make it through anything if you build your strength to do so.

I have many mixed emotions revolving around the job that I lost over a year ago.  Sometimes I feel anger, because I know that certain individuals had a strong hand in the decision that was wrongfully made.  Maybe they felt a relief when I walked out the door that day, who knows.  I've learned a hard lesson from that experience.

When somebody has betrayed you as a friend several times over the years & then all of a sudden pops up & wants to not only make things right, but wants to offer you a swell job opportunity... you might want to take a step back & think things through in every way possible before you make that final decision.

I don't regret taking the job or making the switch.  I look at it as another stepping stone that I had to take to get to where I'm at today.  But I will say, that certain person who I left behind that day...  is now in the past where they will always remain.  It's their loss.  No need to mention names, they know who they are.

For my wonderful husband who stood beside me through those difficult times... I love you more than words can ever say & thank you so much for being there when I needed you the most!

Fred's One-on-One update

Sorry it has taken me a few days to write the update from almost a week ago...

Fred did call back later that evening & we talked about his meeting with Paula in more detail.  He was in a much better mood too.

Just one day at a time right now.  We are definitely making progress.  I just need to step back & realize that it's not all going to happen over night.  Even though I really wish that it would... that's not reality.

We have another appointment with Paula this Wednesday & we are both looking forward to it.

Rainy weather

What crazy weather we're having!  I had to turn the heater on in the house when I got home from work today... otherwise little pumpkin would have probably froze in her sleep, geez.

Talk about one extreme to another.  Last week it was in the 100's & above & it was miserable just to walk outside... but this morning you had to put a jacket on because it was chilly.

How is anyone suppose to know how to dress in this craziness?  I feel like I almost need to walk out of the house dressed in a short sleeve shirt, with a hoodie over that PLUS take along my winter coat, just to be on the safe side.  I guess this is Oklahoma & we should all be use to this by now.

The rainy crappy weather has put a damper on me & Kayla's evening stroll we've been taking every night.  She loves to be outside!  Hopefully the weather will do something nicer tomorrow & thru the weekend.

I guess we should have figured the weather out on our own though... the State Fair started today & what does it do every year on the first day of the State Fair?  It rains.  Go figure.  Ugh.

Well that's my thoughts for the day!

4 legged update

Oh where do I even start with an update on all the 4 legged children...
(unfortunately not many are good updates)

I guess I will start with Spike.  Spike, was our adopted dog that came with our house when we moved here.  So sweet, but so old & I truly feel like he mourned the loss of Mr. & Mrs. Orr when they moved away & he slowly went down hill from there.  About a week after I came home from the hospital from having Kayla... well I found Spike dead.  I felt absolutely horrible.  I promised Mrs. Orr that I would take care of Spike in their absence & I felt as if I had let her down.  I know that poor Spike was suffering.  He was old & his health had declined greatly since they moved.  He had his good days, but towards the end... more bad then good.  Spike is in his forever home, out back behind the shed where he loved to lay in the warmth of the sun.  Most importantly, he was able to live his last days here at his home & didn't have to go live anywhere else.  RIP Spike, you'll always be loved!

The Charolais Girls.  Well they came along at a much needed time... so we thought.  Fred & his mom had picked them up at the stockyards when Montana II lost her first baby boy.  Then after bringing them home, low & behold up walks a baby & it turned out that Montana II had twins, we just didn't know it at the time she lost the first one!  The sad part was that the Charolais Girls were not needed then.  We kept them anyways at least for awhile, then Fred & I took them to the stockyards several months ago so see them on their way.

I just thought they were the cutest when I first saw them.  I couldn't help it.  Wish we didn't have to part ways, but unfortunately this is the life of cattle ranching I guess.  RIP Charolais Girls, I hope you are in a home with lots of love, plenty of hay, feed & water & not on someones dinner table.

Oh here is the saddest one of all.  I don't wanna go there, but I'm going to anyways.  Bruno & Dusty.  My very first bottle calves.  We bonded.  They were my children.  Oh how I loved them so much!  When it was time to slow down on bottle feeding them, I was so sad.  Then when it came time for them to go out west... I was even more sad.  I didn't want them to go anywhere.  I wanted them to stay close so I could see them anytime that I wanted to.  I was selfish & possibly a little unreasonable at times about them.

When I found out that Fred was taking them to the sale... I lost it.  I was a mess.  Even though I knew the time was coming eventually, I made him promise me time & time again that he would allow me to see them one more time before I never had that opportunity again.  Unfortunately that didn't happen.  He took them to the sale without me getting to see them, so you could say I was very upset.  Even though people might think I'm crazy... I was very hurt by this.  I felt a bond with them & all I wanted was to see them one last time.  Guess that was way to much to ask.  I would love to have had a few last pictures of them, but I don't.

However, this is one of my favorite pictures that I took of them.  They were just the cutest ever!  I have to admit that I was a little more partial towards Bruno, but Dusty definitely has a special place in my heart too.  I would love to think that they are currently living happily ever after at a new home where they are spoiled rotten, but unfortunately I'm pretty sure that's not the case.  This is just one of those things that I will never forget & probably my husband won't as well.  RIP Bruno & Dusty, you will forever be in my heart!

On a much brighter note... Katey Belle.  What a great dog!  Seriously she's so adorable.  I'm glad that she now has her permanent home in our yard & I don't have to worry about her living anywhere else, which is such a relief for me.  It had been 3+ long years that I had to leave her at our former residence because I didn't have the proper accommodations for her to move with me.  She has her own fenced area to herself to play & do as she pleases & she seems so happy not to be cooped up in a kennel anymore (which is how she was before).  She's the sweetest dog ever I swear it.  Very lovable too.  I think she might be affraid of the dark though... at night she likes to bark a lot, ugh.  I'm currently trying to figure out a solution to this.

Eventually we are going to create a bigger fenced area for Katey Belle to roam.  Right now she has a pretty big area that she seems happy with, but I would like to see her have a little more roaming freedom.  She just deserves it!

Then what can I say... there's Abigail.  The spoiled rotten dog of all times.  She has her own domain at our house, which is the office/former garage/laundry area.  Which Is blocked off from the rest of the house.  I haven't let Kayla & Abigail meet just yet.  I'm still a little nervous about that one.  I keep hoping & praying in the back of my mind that Abigail will settle down, maybe calm down a lot & wake up to be a relaxed, non-barking dog one day... so far that just hasn't happened though.  She's never really been to fond of children or anyone for that matter, so I'm kinda at a loss as to what to do.  Everyone has their opinions on this, but no matter what... I love her & I can't just get rid of her.  I will figure something out, I'm determined!

Well there we have it... three sad updates & two happy ones.  Wish I could give ya more right now, but my eyes feel like they should be bleeding because I'm so tired.  Wait... do you hear that?  It's my bed, calling out my name.  Guess I better go investigate.

Fred's One-on-One

This morning Fred has his one-on-one with Paula.  He called me afterwards to tell me everything went ok, but since I was at work, we didn't really discuss anything more than that.  I just told him I would call him when I was leaving work.

Around 3:30pm, he called to tell me that he was headed out west to take care of some things that just came up.  He briefly tried to explain, but he wasn't even sure of all the details yet.  He needed to drop by my work on his way out because he left his checkbook in my truck a few days ago.  So around 4:30 he arrived & I met him outside to unlock my truck & give him his checkbook.  We only spoke briefly & then away he went.

Around 9pm, since I had gotten home from my rodeo meeting & put Kayla nite-nite, I decided to call & see how things were going with him.  He had just gotten to the house (out west) & so I figured we might have a conversation in more detail about his appointment with Paula.

Nope.  He was kinda pissy.  He said he had a stressful day & briefly said a few things about what him & Paula talked about & that was that.  I told him that obviously he wasn't in the mood to talk so I would let him go.  He said he was going to look for something to eat & would call me later.

That's where we left it.  Not quite how things went after my one-on-one.  I came home & had a discussion with him about my appointment.

Hell maybe we're not suppose to discuss what we talk about in our one-on-one's with each other.  I'm clueless at this point.  I guess since I discussed things with him in more detail, I assumed he would do the same.

ASSUME = ASS out of U and ME

Enough said there.

Maybe he'll call back in a bright chipper mood later.  My fingers are crossed.

9 month check up

Yesterday was Kayla's 9 month check up.  They gave me the option of having her blood drawn then OR waiting until she comes back for her one year check up to get shots & have it done then.

Lets think about this... get shots, then sit & wait in the waiting room for them to call us back for her blood to be drawn... um NO.  I can see that could be a disaster waiting to happen.  The option of getting part of it over with now, YES absolutely!

It was bad enough that her dr appointment was at 9:20am & we didn't physically leave there until almost 11:00am only to have to go to another building & sit in the waiting room to wait to get her blood drawn.  Ugh.

The great part about everything was that Kayla did absolutely awesome!  Everyone was giving the lab tech a hard time as we were making the long walk back to the room in which this was going to take place.  They were saying she was going to make her cry & that she was just to cute to have to cry, etc.  Poor lab tech, I know she felt bad.

Kayla sat on my lap like a big girl, we played patty-cake until the lady was ready & then my sweet baby didn't even flentch when she pricked her finger.  Not one tear was shed, no crying, nothing... can you believe that?  I was such a proud parent at that moment.  The whole time the lab tech was saying, "I wish all my patients acted like this, even the older ones".  Yeah, I kinda swelled up with pride that my precious 9 month old was acting absolutely perfect for the entire process, which seemed to take forever.

When she was finished though, she put a small dab of cotton on her finger then wrapped it with a piece of bandaid.  Kayla looked at her finger as if she was thinking, "what the heck is this for?"  It was quite cute.

As we walked back down the hallway towards the door, all the staff was saying, "oh poor thing, did she cry a lot?"  I was like, "nope, not one tear or even a whimper."  The lab tech confirmed my statement & everyone thought that was really cool that she was so good for being so little.

Of course not long afterwards I had to snap some pictures with my phone.  I wasn't quite sure how long the bandaid w/cotton would last so I didn't want to miss the opportunity.  Just look at her sweet little hand with this big ole' bandaid & cotton on it, how cute is that, seriously?  Poor little thing, even though it didn't seem to upset her in the least bit.

Some girls at my work have been saying they wanted me to drop by with Kayla so they could see her, so we made our way over there & stopped in briefly.  After we were done there, we headed for my parents house to drop her off.  I'm sure Kayla was starving by this point, it was almost 1pm & she's used to eating anywhere between 11:30-12:30.

All in all, we passed our 9 month check up.  She weighed 8lbs 7oz & 27.5 inches tall.

9 months already

Kayla was 9 months old yesterday.

My sweet baby isn't far away from being a little girl now.  I'm excited but at the same time I'm scared to death.

I'm so excited because I know she will be walking soon, then she can just follow me around the house or whatever (which I know I will probably regret after she starts) & it will be much easier to take her to the store with me when she starts walking too.

On the flip side of course, I'm scared... she's just growing up to fast.  Every day she does something different & it's at a faster pace then what I'm prepared for.  It feels like I just gave birth to her & it surely doesn't feel like it's already been NINE MONTHS AGO!

She's crawling, pulling up on everything, etc.  I look forward to hearing her say mama for the first time, I know that will completely melt my heart into mush.

Today our plan is to do a little shopping.  We have hard wood floors in the living room & need to get a rug/carpet of some sort so that Kayla can freely roam without having to worry about her wiping out on the hard floor in there.

#1 we are going to have some family time together, just the three of us today!  I'm definitely looking forward to that.  

And the weather is nice outside, so I'm hoping it stays that way!