Week 8-9

Well technically, this is week 9, but we haven't been to see Paula together since September 28th & I had my one-on-one appointment with her on October 12th.

So it's officially been, as of tomorrow, 4 weeks since we have seen Paula together.  Wow.

It's been one thing or another I guess.  I'm not quite sure how I feel about the fact we haven't been.  I know I'm not happy about it, but I feel like some things are out of my control.

Fred has been saying he would call & make us an appointment, but again... that has yet to happen.  Very frustrating to say the least.

I know he was sick, then out of town trying to plant wheat & all, then this week I had the Jr Rodeo Banquet last night, etc.  I don't know... seems like a bunch of excuses to me.

I wrote him a letter last weekend, expressing my feelings about what I feel we've made progress with & other things that I would like us to work on.

Date night would be one of those things.  It still hasn't happened & the more time that passes it just feels almost pointless to mention it.  Why should I have to keep reminding him how important this is?  When or if date night ever comes... it really doesn't hold much value for me at this point.  I know that's sad to say, but that's just how I feel.

Although, he keeps promissing that after he's finished planting wheat that we'll have more time together.  I hate to say this, but I have my doubts.

Don't get me wrong, we've made progress in some areas.  It's just frustrating for me that some of the most important things have still gone un-touched I guess.

I know my mood lately has been a little tough too.  I'm sleep deprived & just physically & mentally exhausted.  I'm starting to wonder if I will ever catch up on my sleep again & I feel like I have a headache 24 hrs a day anymore.  Ugh.  A little stressed to I guess.

I'm still trying to look on the bright side, smile, keep my chin up & say a few prayers from time to time in hopes things will get better soon.

Please... God give me strength!