Take this for instance... Magic Tan.
I had this brilliant idea that I wanted to do a little spray tanning before I attempted to stumble or walk down the aisle for my wedding. Since I was getting married on a Tuesday evening... I figured I would go in on a Thursday evening & get my tan on.
Did I mention that not all my ideas always work out as planned?
This is what I consider a complete & total disaster.
So I arrive at Tan & Tone all ready & willing. I watched a 10 minute video with all the details of what is going to take place behind the Magic Tan door. The nice lady took me back to the room, went over some instructions, then the door shut. At first glance I'm not quite sure what to think of this glass coffin I'm soon to be standing in. I remove all clothing & do all the proper preparations then step into the coffin. When the door shut I immediately notice the air is very stiff & the smell was a little over powering.
FYI: If you have severe Asthma... Magic Tan is not a good idea.
I should have immediately known without having even pushed the green go button & already having trouble breathing... this was a bad idea. But what was my decision? Yep... I assumed my robot stance & hit the go button. My first chosen position was to have my back towards the jets of which would be spraying me with my new soon-to-be tan. When it started it sounded like the air breaks on a semi or a jet engine taking off in flight... loud & scary to say the least.
I immediately went from my robot stance to having my hands & arms directly over my head, saying "oh shit". Then immediately followed up with "oh crap" because I then realize I'm not in the proper position for the spray tan to be evenly distributed. In the process of all of that I can't breathe! The spray tan smells atroshish & completely takes your breathe away. So I make the quick choice to open & close the glass coffin door a few times to gasp for a quick fresh breathe as best I could, then hurry to assume the correct position again.
In the process of attempting to assume all 4 robot positions correctly, I would open & close the glass coffin door each time in attempt to receive as much fresh air as possible. Let's just say by the time the last spray had finished I was never so glad to bail out of the glass coffin in to clean air again. As I look in the mirror I find to my horror that I have wonderful dark streaks running down my legs, arms, face, chest, etc. Fantastic! I immediately start the blotting motions with the towel hoping to not smear my new tan but hoping to not have crazy stripe marks all over my body. Whew.
Unfortunately I've had swelling issues from the start of my pregnancy & by the time I had finished blotting my entire body... I look down & realize I had forgotten to put the correct creme on my toe nails so they wouldn't stain. Having swelling issues, prevents bending over to that extreme unless I would like to lose what ever I had eaten that day. I decide it's not that big of a deal, stand there for a few minutes to relax & dry. As I'm re-applying my clothing I hear the nice lady at the door say "is everything ok in there"? Which I'm immediately thinking... oh crap she probably noticed the poof's of tanning solution rising from atop the walls, from me opening & closing the coffin door gasping for fresh air. Oops. I nicely reply back, "yes all done, getting dressed & fixing to come out". She says ok then I hurry to finish getting dressed & exit the Magic Tan room & head towards the front.
She stops me to ask how my "experience" was. Um... how should I reply to this? Well instead of saying everything was fine, I reply... "it was horrible, total disaster". She looked at me like I had lost my mind, but I then followed up with the fact, it was loud, smelled bad & I couldn't breathe, but none the less was hoping my new tan would turn out good. I could tell she was speechless, so I took the opportunity to thank her for her help & wished her a good evening, then hurried out the front door.
Wow what an experience. Definitely not something I will be participating in again in the future.
The best part is that it's been well over 2 months now since my "experience" with Magic Tan & my toe nails are still this awesome yellow color from the tanning solution soaking in. Unfortunately there is nothing I can do to remove the yellow coloring, I've tried & nothing works.
So yes... I even walked down the aisle in my wedding with yellow toe nails, it was great, but my dress was long & I seriously don't think anyone noticed.
Some may ask why don't I just get my toe nails painted & well... I can't ever remember having my toe nails painted, because I'm just not that kinda girl. In fact, I can't stand anyone messing with my feet at all. I think feet are gross. Don't touch mine & I won't touch yours, that's the rule.
Hopefully by this time next year, my toe nails will have returned to their original color & the fabulous yellow will be history.
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