Week 13-15

This week marks 15 weeks since we started counseling with Paula & attempting to repair & restore our marriage.

The last time Fred saw Paula was on November 16th, 3 weeks ago.  So far he hasn't mentioned when or if he's going to make another appointment with her.  I'm trying to be patient, but that's hard to do.  I want him to be motivated in making the effort to make the appointments on his own without me having to ask or remind him.

I wrote Paula a letter the other day & mailed it old fashion "snail mail" to her.  (I don't have her email address)  I just wanted to express my over all feelings & highlight some things I think we've made progress with.  It was a little bit of everything all wrapped up in 2 pages.  I can't explain why I decided to sit down & write her a letter, it just felt like the right thing to do, so that's what I did.

I'm really thinking next week I will call & see if I can make an appointment with her for myself.  Even if Fred doesn't take the lead on making his next appointment or being motivated to do so... well that doesn't hold me back from going to Paula for myself.  I've learned a lot from her & she helps me see things in a different way.  It's very enlightening.

As several people know, anytime I post a new blog... a very select few receive it automatically via email.  Well Fred was one of those people.  I say was... because that's in the past tense now.  After a not-so-nice conversation between us about a month ago, I removed him from the list.  It's not like he can't go to the website & still read it, he's always more than welcome to do that, but it's just not conveniently delivered to his email anymore.  He said my blog was stupid, blah blah blah... which really set me off.  If he didn't like my blog or wished that I remove him from the list, it could have been said in a completely different manor.

The only reason I have this blog in the first place is strictly for myself.  When I write, I feel relaxed.  Even though I know sometimes I tend to be a little over the top crazy, but it's all in fun.  It gives me the opportunity to just say whatever is on my mind, even if I'm a little nuts at times.

We just have to take it one day at a time with baby steps.  My hope is one day soon, it will start to get a little easier.

Hugs to everyone - good night!