4 legged update

Oh where do I even start with an update on all the 4 legged children...
(unfortunately not many are good updates)

I guess I will start with Spike.  Spike, was our adopted dog that came with our house when we moved here.  So sweet, but so old & I truly feel like he mourned the loss of Mr. & Mrs. Orr when they moved away & he slowly went down hill from there.  About a week after I came home from the hospital from having Kayla... well I found Spike dead.  I felt absolutely horrible.  I promised Mrs. Orr that I would take care of Spike in their absence & I felt as if I had let her down.  I know that poor Spike was suffering.  He was old & his health had declined greatly since they moved.  He had his good days, but towards the end... more bad then good.  Spike is in his forever home, out back behind the shed where he loved to lay in the warmth of the sun.  Most importantly, he was able to live his last days here at his home & didn't have to go live anywhere else.  RIP Spike, you'll always be loved!

The Charolais Girls.  Well they came along at a much needed time... so we thought.  Fred & his mom had picked them up at the stockyards when Montana II lost her first baby boy.  Then after bringing them home, low & behold up walks a baby & it turned out that Montana II had twins, we just didn't know it at the time she lost the first one!  The sad part was that the Charolais Girls were not needed then.  We kept them anyways at least for awhile, then Fred & I took them to the stockyards several months ago so see them on their way.

I just thought they were the cutest when I first saw them.  I couldn't help it.  Wish we didn't have to part ways, but unfortunately this is the life of cattle ranching I guess.  RIP Charolais Girls, I hope you are in a home with lots of love, plenty of hay, feed & water & not on someones dinner table.

Oh here is the saddest one of all.  I don't wanna go there, but I'm going to anyways.  Bruno & Dusty.  My very first bottle calves.  We bonded.  They were my children.  Oh how I loved them so much!  When it was time to slow down on bottle feeding them, I was so sad.  Then when it came time for them to go out west... I was even more sad.  I didn't want them to go anywhere.  I wanted them to stay close so I could see them anytime that I wanted to.  I was selfish & possibly a little unreasonable at times about them.

When I found out that Fred was taking them to the sale... I lost it.  I was a mess.  Even though I knew the time was coming eventually, I made him promise me time & time again that he would allow me to see them one more time before I never had that opportunity again.  Unfortunately that didn't happen.  He took them to the sale without me getting to see them, so you could say I was very upset.  Even though people might think I'm crazy... I was very hurt by this.  I felt a bond with them & all I wanted was to see them one last time.  Guess that was way to much to ask.  I would love to have had a few last pictures of them, but I don't.

However, this is one of my favorite pictures that I took of them.  They were just the cutest ever!  I have to admit that I was a little more partial towards Bruno, but Dusty definitely has a special place in my heart too.  I would love to think that they are currently living happily ever after at a new home where they are spoiled rotten, but unfortunately I'm pretty sure that's not the case.  This is just one of those things that I will never forget & probably my husband won't as well.  RIP Bruno & Dusty, you will forever be in my heart!

On a much brighter note... Katey Belle.  What a great dog!  Seriously she's so adorable.  I'm glad that she now has her permanent home in our yard & I don't have to worry about her living anywhere else, which is such a relief for me.  It had been 3+ long years that I had to leave her at our former residence because I didn't have the proper accommodations for her to move with me.  She has her own fenced area to herself to play & do as she pleases & she seems so happy not to be cooped up in a kennel anymore (which is how she was before).  She's the sweetest dog ever I swear it.  Very lovable too.  I think she might be affraid of the dark though... at night she likes to bark a lot, ugh.  I'm currently trying to figure out a solution to this.

Eventually we are going to create a bigger fenced area for Katey Belle to roam.  Right now she has a pretty big area that she seems happy with, but I would like to see her have a little more roaming freedom.  She just deserves it!

Then what can I say... there's Abigail.  The spoiled rotten dog of all times.  She has her own domain at our house, which is the office/former garage/laundry area.  Which Is blocked off from the rest of the house.  I haven't let Kayla & Abigail meet just yet.  I'm still a little nervous about that one.  I keep hoping & praying in the back of my mind that Abigail will settle down, maybe calm down a lot & wake up to be a relaxed, non-barking dog one day... so far that just hasn't happened though.  She's never really been to fond of children or anyone for that matter, so I'm kinda at a loss as to what to do.  Everyone has their opinions on this, but no matter what... I love her & I can't just get rid of her.  I will figure something out, I'm determined!

Well there we have it... three sad updates & two happy ones.  Wish I could give ya more right now, but my eyes feel like they should be bleeding because I'm so tired.  Wait... do you hear that?  It's my bed, calling out my name.  Guess I better go investigate.

Fred's One-on-One

This morning Fred has his one-on-one with Paula.  He called me afterwards to tell me everything went ok, but since I was at work, we didn't really discuss anything more than that.  I just told him I would call him when I was leaving work.

Around 3:30pm, he called to tell me that he was headed out west to take care of some things that just came up.  He briefly tried to explain, but he wasn't even sure of all the details yet.  He needed to drop by my work on his way out because he left his checkbook in my truck a few days ago.  So around 4:30 he arrived & I met him outside to unlock my truck & give him his checkbook.  We only spoke briefly & then away he went.

Around 9pm, since I had gotten home from my rodeo meeting & put Kayla nite-nite, I decided to call & see how things were going with him.  He had just gotten to the house (out west) & so I figured we might have a conversation in more detail about his appointment with Paula.

Nope.  He was kinda pissy.  He said he had a stressful day & briefly said a few things about what him & Paula talked about & that was that.  I told him that obviously he wasn't in the mood to talk so I would let him go.  He said he was going to look for something to eat & would call me later.

That's where we left it.  Not quite how things went after my one-on-one.  I came home & had a discussion with him about my appointment.

Hell maybe we're not suppose to discuss what we talk about in our one-on-one's with each other.  I'm clueless at this point.  I guess since I discussed things with him in more detail, I assumed he would do the same.

ASSUME = ASS out of U and ME

Enough said there.

Maybe he'll call back in a bright chipper mood later.  My fingers are crossed.

9 month check up

Yesterday was Kayla's 9 month check up.  They gave me the option of having her blood drawn then OR waiting until she comes back for her one year check up to get shots & have it done then.

Lets think about this... get shots, then sit & wait in the waiting room for them to call us back for her blood to be drawn... um NO.  I can see that could be a disaster waiting to happen.  The option of getting part of it over with now, YES absolutely!

It was bad enough that her dr appointment was at 9:20am & we didn't physically leave there until almost 11:00am only to have to go to another building & sit in the waiting room to wait to get her blood drawn.  Ugh.

The great part about everything was that Kayla did absolutely awesome!  Everyone was giving the lab tech a hard time as we were making the long walk back to the room in which this was going to take place.  They were saying she was going to make her cry & that she was just to cute to have to cry, etc.  Poor lab tech, I know she felt bad.

Kayla sat on my lap like a big girl, we played patty-cake until the lady was ready & then my sweet baby didn't even flentch when she pricked her finger.  Not one tear was shed, no crying, nothing... can you believe that?  I was such a proud parent at that moment.  The whole time the lab tech was saying, "I wish all my patients acted like this, even the older ones".  Yeah, I kinda swelled up with pride that my precious 9 month old was acting absolutely perfect for the entire process, which seemed to take forever.

When she was finished though, she put a small dab of cotton on her finger then wrapped it with a piece of bandaid.  Kayla looked at her finger as if she was thinking, "what the heck is this for?"  It was quite cute.

As we walked back down the hallway towards the door, all the staff was saying, "oh poor thing, did she cry a lot?"  I was like, "nope, not one tear or even a whimper."  The lab tech confirmed my statement & everyone thought that was really cool that she was so good for being so little.

Of course not long afterwards I had to snap some pictures with my phone.  I wasn't quite sure how long the bandaid w/cotton would last so I didn't want to miss the opportunity.  Just look at her sweet little hand with this big ole' bandaid & cotton on it, how cute is that, seriously?  Poor little thing, even though it didn't seem to upset her in the least bit.

Some girls at my work have been saying they wanted me to drop by with Kayla so they could see her, so we made our way over there & stopped in briefly.  After we were done there, we headed for my parents house to drop her off.  I'm sure Kayla was starving by this point, it was almost 1pm & she's used to eating anywhere between 11:30-12:30.

All in all, we passed our 9 month check up.  She weighed 8lbs 7oz & 27.5 inches tall.

9 months already

Kayla was 9 months old yesterday.

My sweet baby isn't far away from being a little girl now.  I'm excited but at the same time I'm scared to death.

I'm so excited because I know she will be walking soon, then she can just follow me around the house or whatever (which I know I will probably regret after she starts) & it will be much easier to take her to the store with me when she starts walking too.

On the flip side of course, I'm scared... she's just growing up to fast.  Every day she does something different & it's at a faster pace then what I'm prepared for.  It feels like I just gave birth to her & it surely doesn't feel like it's already been NINE MONTHS AGO!

She's crawling, pulling up on everything, etc.  I look forward to hearing her say mama for the first time, I know that will completely melt my heart into mush.

Today our plan is to do a little shopping.  We have hard wood floors in the living room & need to get a rug/carpet of some sort so that Kayla can freely roam without having to worry about her wiping out on the hard floor in there.

#1 we are going to have some family time together, just the three of us today!  I'm definitely looking forward to that.  

And the weather is nice outside, so I'm hoping it stays that way!

One-on-One

Yesterday was my one-on-one session with Paula.  As crazy as it might sound... I felt some real connection with her.  At first I thought that maybe I knew her from somewhere & that I just couldn't put my finger on exactly where... but then at the very moment I was having that thought, she spoke up & said that she felt a real connection with me.  Definitely caught me off guard.  Then I started thinking heck maybe she is psychic or something, but nah that's not it.

We had a great conversation.  She's a very warm person & easy to talk to.  I just got the overall feeling that she really cared & wasn't just in it for her fees.  Now that is a good feeling to have if you ask me.

The time seemed to pass so quickly too.  We just sat & chatted & the time just rolled on by.

Since my appointment was at 5:30 & I had to leave directly from work to head that way, Fred picked up Kayla from my parents house & took her home to feed her dinner.  It was a warming feeling knowing that both my baby & husband were at home awaiting my arrival.

Well all in all, yesterday was a good day & I look forward to our future appointments with Paula.  There is definitely a light at the end of our tunnel, I can see it starting to shine!

Labor Day weekend

Just like most everyone out there, I wasn't ready for the 3 day holiday weekend to end yesterday.  In fact, I was starting to think... why don't we have a labor week instead of just one day?  I know that's a far fetched dream that will never happen, but hey it's still a nice thought right?  I'm allowed to have those from time to time.

The best part of the entire 3 days, was the fact that I was able to spend them with Kayla.  It was just her & I this weekend, because daddy was well over 1,000 miles away in the great state of Montana.  He left early last Thursday morning & didn't return until after midnight last night.  Maybe one of these days when I have a day off work, he will be able to stay home with us instead of driving across the states.

Kayla & I had a great weekend together.  It was so nice to not worry about dropping her off at my parents house in the morning so I can head to work.  Instead, when she woke up in the morning, I put her in bed with me & we had some cuddle time before we made it to the kitchen for breakfast, then morning cartoons together.  Oh what fun!  She's literally just a ball of fun these days.

Every night after Kayla went nite-nite, I headed for the laundry/den area to paint.  Ugh.  I was determined to get this completely finished this weekend.  I'm happy to announce that I got 95% of it finished!  Still have a few touch ups here & there, but I will conquer those sometime soon.  I'm just excited to have the majority of the painting finished at this point.  Hurray for me!

As everyone knows, I'm not exactly the best person to be crawling on any type of ladder, but the good report is that I only sorta stumbled off the step-ladder 3 times the entire weekend.  That's a new record for me AND the best part is that I don't have one bruise to show for it!  Woohoo.

Saturday, Kayla & I ventured out to Target for some shopping.  I tried out the new shopping cart cover thingy that I bought awhile back & wow poor little Kayla looked so tiny riding around in it.  It looked like it swallowed her right up, but she seemed to have a good time riding around in it.

My dad came over Sunday & mowed the lawn which was starting to get outta control.  Thank you dad!  I think he also did that so he could stop in & see Miss Kayla too.  If he doesn't see her everyday I swear he goes thru withdrawals or something.  That's ok, he didn't stay long & I know she loves to see her Papa too.

Yesterday, I called my mother-in-law to come over to spend some time with us last night.  She brought me dinner & hung out with us for a little while until it was time for Kayla to get a bath & go nite-nite.  It was the first time in a long time that she was able to hold Kayla the entire time she was here & she didn't even cry once!  So maybe she's growing out of this not letting anyone except a very few people hold her stage, woohoo I'm definitely excited about that.  Especially with my mother-in-law, I felt so bad every time she would try & hold her & Kayla wouldn't have it... made me feel really sad.

Here are a few things I haven't mentioned lately... Kayla is officially crawling now!  She's getting quicker by the day too, it's crazy.  Not to mention, she's also getting more onry.  Several times this weekend I went in to pick her up from her nap & she had un-done both bumpers on the back side of the crib & was playing with them.  And I mean, she had un-tied all 4 ties on both of them!  Wish it could've been the ones in the front instead of the side of the crib that's against the wall & for us short people... hard to get to.  I managed to get them tied back only to find she had done it again next naptime.  Amazing how quickly they learn & pick up new things, huh.

I have to say although hubby was unable to be with us this weekend... I enjoyed every minute that I got to spend with Kayla.  I would most definitely mark this as an all around successful weekend!

Unfortunately hubby & I haven't gotten to spend much time together since his arrival after midnight last night.  He was exhausted from the trip & well it was after midnight when he got home & way past my bedtime.  We met up for lunch today along with his mom & then he got home late this evening.

Tomorrow I have my one-on-one appointment with the counselor & I'm looking forward to that.  Each visit, is one step closer in the right direction in my opinion.

Well that's the low down on our Labor Day weekend!

Weight for it

Three months ago I started going to a weight doctor in hopes to shed all of this un-wanted extra weight I’ve acquired. The first month I lost 10lbs, the second month I lost 2lbs & well, when I went for my check up a little over a week ago, I’m unhappy to announce I only lost 5lbs since the visit before. I know something is better than nothing, but I really had hopes it would have been at least 10lbs.

It’s such a struggle. I can remember the days of thinking I was fat “way back when”… but what on earth was I thinking? I wish I could go back in time & slap myself for even having those thoughts, geez.

I always joke & say that this weight magically appeared over night, but that’s far from the truth. I’ve been struggling with some weight gain since around a year before I ever became pregnant with Kayla. So I can’t lay the complete blame on my pregnancy. I had started going to a weight clinic & had been going for a few months when I found out I was pregnant. Obviously that put an immediate halt on all diet pills & plans.

Now that Kayla is within days of the 9th month mark, I feel like I should’ve made a little better progress in my weight loss by now.

The brutal truth is that, it’s very depressing. Some days are better than others. I’m much better now then I was the first few months after Kayla was born. I’ll admit, there were some really rough days in there. I remember thinking that I was probably the only one who’s felt that way & that I shouldn’t be worrying about my body when I’m holding the most beautiful baby in the entire world in my arms. I was mourning the loss of my former body & I felt helpless.

I keep telling myself that before we even think about trying to get pregnant with another child, this weight has to disappear. No bones about it. My goal is to buy one of those bo-flex machines, as soon as I finish with the remodel of the office/den area. I know if I had a membership to a gym, I wouldn’t go. So working out at home is the only option for me. Surprisingly enough the weight doctor talked about a wii & how he’s had lots of women that have one & do the work outs & are very successful with it. I’ve browsed but haven’t seriously looked into buying one of those just yet. The thought is still in my mind though. I’m not much on video games or that type of thing.

My biggest fear is that hubby will be ready for another child before I’ve restored my body as close to its former glory as I can. I have a friend that said she didn’t worry about the weight loss until after the second child because she knew they wanted a second child & why go through all the work to lose all that weight when your just going to re-gain most of it back again. Good thought, but… my luck I would gain a ton more weight on top of what I already needed to lose. Ugh just the thought of that happening makes me wanna crawl in a hole somewhere.

Of course we don’t wanna wait too many years between Kayla & having another, because we want our children to be close. And I… of all people definitely know how so many years between can make a huge difference in so many ways. Since my brother is 20 years older than I am, it was just like being raised as an only child growing up.

So now I’m setting my weight loss goals for the next 6 months. I want to take some cute family pics for Christmas cards & mail them to our family & close friends this year. So I definitely want to be in skinny clothes by then. That’s the goal & I’m determined to achieve it.

All these years I’ve always said there is no way in hell I would ever consider any type of cosmetic surgery, but now days… I’m starting to re-consider. After we’re done having children & there’s been enough time for my body to heal… I’m thinking a little tummy tuck/liposuction/breast reduction might not be so bad. It’s not like I wanna be a size 00 again like I was back in high school. It was cool then, but now at 34 years old… not so cool, very un-healthy, not to mention totally un-realistic.

All in all… when it comes down to it… I’m working towards my weight loss goal. It just might take a little while to get where I need to be. I’m determined to get there though! So everyone cross your fingers & say a small prayer that I’ll have success.