1st Session

We had our first appointment with "Paula" the counselor tonight.  I was so nervous making the drive there.  I had no idea what to expect, I've never experienced anything like this before, I've only seen & heard about it through friends & family.

I believe our appointment was suppose to be an hour, but instead we were there an hour & half.

Since I had to leave straight from work, Fred met me at Braums & we rode together from there.  Then afterwards, I dropped him back off at his truck & headed north to stop for gas, pick up Kayla & get home.

I will be honest, it's taken me a few hours to process everything we discussed.  It was a little odd for some stranger to be asking questions & you're suppose to just open up & discuss everything.  I know it sounds silly, because obviously that's why we are going is to get help & get back on a smoother path.  I know it won't take me long to warm up more, but since it was the first time my nerves were a little on edge before I even got there.

Our next visits will be one-on-one's to discuss our homework (questionnaire) she gave us each to fill out.  It's basically history about us individually.

As those who know me can imagine... I've already started typing mine up.  Even though my appointment isn't until a week from today.  Damn that might be the OCD in me setting in, who knows.

I can't help but have high hopes that we've made a step in the right direction.

I tried so very hard to hold back all my emotions today... why... well I don't know why.  I just can't answer that.  The best I can explain it is that I felt weak.  When she hit certain spots w/me & I felt the tears coming... my very first thought was, "get up & step out of the room & pull yourself back together again".  Although I didn't do that, the thought absolutely crossed my mind.  Ok it actually crossed my mind more than once.

After I've had time to think about everything & really process my feelings & thoughts... I look forward my next appointment & our future appointments.

Fred is the one who picked her & made the appointment.  I have to say, he did a damn good job picking her, even if it was just a random choice.  Paula is very nice & I really believe she can help us get back on track again.

I love you honey!